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Unrealistic demands

Posted By Guilt Tripped

"Unrealistic demands"

About: General Practices in Grampian

(as a relative),

I am in my 70s, and have Power of Attorney for my mother, who is in her 90s. An incident happened the other day which resulted in the GP asking me for a urine sample from my mother. My mother is incontinent and suffers from dementia. As a result of her incontinence she wears special pants and does not pass urine in the toilet. The doctor was told by her carers at her sheltered housing that obtaining a urine sample would not be possible. Despite this I have been repeatedly asked by surgery staff to obtain a sample and I have again said this is not possible. Why am I being made to feel guilty about not providing care for my mother?

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Responses

Response from Kirsten Dickson, Quality Improvement and Assurance Facilitator, Quality Improvement and Assurance Team, NHS Grampian last week
Kirsten Dickson
Quality Improvement and Assurance Facilitator, Quality Improvement and Assurance Team,
NHS Grampian

Submitted on 13/11/2025 at 14:14
Published on Care Opinion at 14:14

picture of Kirsten Dickson

Dear Guilt Tripped.

Thank you for getting in touch and sharing your experience. It sounds like both you and your mother are going through a difficult time. I’m sorry communication with staff at the surgery is causing further frustration and distress. As you have mentioned it seems like the request for a urine sample from your mother was done without full appreciation of your mother’s condition and the practical challenges involved and I’m sorry that you were made to feel guilty or pressured. I’m sure this was never the intention but appreciate this is how it made you feel none the less.

I’m not directly linked to any of the services mentioned in your feedback, I work in the Quality Improvement Team at NHS Grampian and have the job of making sure the feedback shared on Care Opinion reaches the teams it was intended for. Unfortunately, the GP Practices don’t have responding access on Care Opinion, in fact most of the GP Practices in Grampian are independently run and have their own complaints and feedback processes. They won’t see this post with it being shared with them directly.

For your specific feedback to be addressed and looked into, you will need to call or write to the practice manager who will give you advice around their complaints and feedback process. If you would like independent advice or support on providing feedback to your practice there is the option to contact the Patient advice and Support Service by calling 0800 917 2127 or by visiting their website: https://pass-scotland.org.uk.

When contacting the practice directly, it’s likely you will need to share your name, contact details and any relevant paperwork around POA. They won’t look into your feedback without this information unfortunately. I know not everyone feels comfortable giving feedback directly to the practice, and if would like, I can share your feedback with them anonymously - but you will need to contact me directly with the name of the practice, (any contact information shared with me won't be shared any further). Because they won’t know who you are they are unlikely to provide a response that gives specific details but I would share any information that came back to me with you.

My contact details are kirsten.dickson@nhs.scot or telephone / text: 07885720267.

Take care,

Kirsten

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