"Not meeting the criteria, not being seen"

I’m a mum of three and I knew quite early on that my youngest daughter was different. She was alway frustrated and angry even at a young age. She was delayed in speach and is behind in regards to education. She attends an asn school she is still in pull ups night and day, she is double incontinent. 

My daughters anger and they way she deal with her emotions has always worried me. I have had her referred on numerous occasions to CAHMs regarding this ongoing issue and everytime I just get a letter back saying she doesn’t me criteria. So everytime I go away and try and get the support on my own. I have been getting hit for years and she doesn’t do a thing you ask her. She has the most violent outburst. This results in tvs phone tablets furniture being smashed up. If you try and intervene it makes it escalate. The older she gets the more difficult this is becoming.

I have been to my gp several times and he tells me she should be seen and can’t understand she hasn’t. They make the decision without even seeing me or my child. She had recently started to say she doesn’t want to be here. I find this very alarming. She has held a toy him to my head and said I wish it had real bullets in it. This is not normal behaviour at all and I desperately need help. I feel if there is no intervention my daughter will continue to get worse. I also feel if this was an adult saying these things it would be taking very seriously.

I have begged practically on my knees and we got a letter from cahms recently saying she doesn’t meet criteria again. What needs to happen? Does someone need to be seriously hurt before they listen? I don't think this is good enough for our children. I don’t know where else to turn. But if nobody listens to me this time I have no choice to take this further. It’s affecting my whole family life my daughter can’t understand why she can’t stop it and it’s heartbreaking. I’ve taken her to several groups and nothing is helping.