"It felt so terrifying and isolating"

I had my baby in August via c section, the surgical team in theatre were absolutely incredible and gave us such a positive experience with their kindness and care that we will be thankful for forever. However my stay in the maternity until was appalling. The lack of interest and compassion from the midwife’s was shocking and in direct conflict with the Trusts valves. It felt as though they had lost all humanity in terms of offering me any kind of basic support.

The first two nights spent with my baby were brutal. Pain medication went forgotten, my buzzer got left un answered and my baby couldn’t latch. The support around breast feeding was rushed and felt to be a great inconvenience to all involved from the midwife’s. As a result my baby was hungry, formula was forced on us ( which we have since found out our baby has allergies to) and my baby was inconsolable. I was unable to mobilise to offer any substantial comfort other than to have my baby scream on my chests for the majority of the nights we stayed. It felt so terrifying and isolating to the degree that I felt as though I wanted to leave my deeply longed for baby on the bed and run away.

The photos we asked our midwife to take in theatre that we discussed before we went in didn’t get taken leaving us no visual memory of the biggest moment of our life. It took me a month post birth to properly bond with my baby and recover my confidence around breast feeding, which I was told before my milk even came in I likely wouldn’t be able to do by maternity staff. When I think of my first moments with my baby in hospital they are far removed from joy and peace and are instead memories of panic, inadequacy and overwhelming lack of compassion.

I have since spoken to many other mothers that have had similar experiences on the maternity ward, which to me suggests a systemic failure all round to uphold basic person centred care