"The help I received"

For the past twelve months I had been experiencing a period of significant change that was leaving me struggling to cope. 

Last year I turned sixty, moved house to an unfamiliar area, become a full-time carer for my elderly mother and had my in-laws unexpectedly move in with us.  Adjusting to our new circumstances put a lot of strain on my relationship with my husband. Everything felt new and uncomfortable and nothing felt like it was going to be ok. I began feeling that everyone wanted me to disappear and that things would be better if I wasn't around anymore. For some reason, leaving did not feel like a viable option and I felt trapped. I became jumpy and paranoid. My self-esteem plummeted and I was permanently tearful and overwhelmed.

Around Christmas I was aware that I had become very depressed, possibly dangerously so. I have been depressed in the past, once during my first year of university and again about ten years ago when I was made redundant. During my redundancy I self-referred myself for CBT, which I found incredibly helpful. I continue to apply the tools I learned then to my life now, with positive results. That said, those tools were not effective with my new circumstances. 

Having realised that my recent depression was not going to resolve itself, I self-referred myself again, knowing I was struggling with a different set of issues, and wanting to learn a new set of tools to help me cope.

From the moment I was contacted by Shropshire, Telford and Wrekin NHS Talking Therapies, things started to improve. My assessment interview left me feeling heard and that I wasn't just making a fuss about nothing. Having someone listen without judgement was extremely powerful. Asking for help had been quite difficult for me because of how low I was feeling, so to be treated with such kindness and understanding left me with the sense that help was available and things might actually get better.

I was then matched with a therapist who was precisely the right person to help me. Until we started working together I hadn't realised quite how distorted my view of the world had become. 

Together we worked through a set of tools that allowed me to regain perspective and reassess things. I cannot begin to express my gratitude to STWTT. Life has become unrecognisably better, my relationships are improved, I feel good about myself and in control of my actions. I sleep, which makes a massive difference in itself.

There is still a way to go with practicing my new tools until they become automatic, but they are already extremely helpful. I have increasingly lengthy periods of contentment and no longer feel responsible for all that is wrong in the world. I am able to be kind and patient with those around me, which makes me feel better about myself as a human being.

Receiving this help at this point in my life has not only helped me recover from my depression, but also equipped me with skills and attitudes to enter the third phase of my life with a calmer and more confident attitude. Without support from STWTT I don't feel I could have tackled the negative thought patterns that were spoiling everything. I am proud of the work that I did myself, but could not have achieved it without the invaluable guidance of my therapist. 

My therapist, Louise, literally saved my life.