"Lack of empathy, support, bedside manner and kindness"

It is documented in my notes that I suffered a traumatic loss last year in which my angel baby died in the 2nd trimester. I carried her little sleeping body for 3 days then laboured and birthed her over a 12 hour period. I then had to go for emergency surgery for blood loss and a stubborn placenta. This trauma came after the trauma of birthing my beautiful son at another hospital in the Trust and the neglect I suffered at the hands of some of the staff there.

Finding myself pregnant this time around, I thought I would try Altnagelvin for my care, meaning my anomaly scan would take place there. On the day of the scan we had to travel quite a distance and due to ambiguous directions we headed to the direction of the foetal assessment unit in the main hospital to find the doors blocked by maintenance works, we walked a long way around to be told anomaly scans take place in Anderson House, which was in another area of the Altnagelvin site.

Flustered at now running late, I raced my pregnant body (with asthma and a heart condition to also manage) to Anderson House. When I got there I wandered the hallway looking for someone to talk to in the antenatal section and could find nothing but empty offices, eventually the sonographer said - there you are, I've been looking everywhere for you, which wasn't true because I had been in the building 10 minutes.

My husband was getting parked and I wanted to wait because I was nervous on account of my previous tragic experience, I was unprofessionally advised I'd have to do it without him, my heart was racing. I lay on the bed with my bump exposed. I explained why I was running late and was told I wouldn't get my full scan because slots were too tight. I said it wasn't our fault that we're late and I'm really needing reassurance after losing my last baby and having PTSD, explaining we also travelled for over an hour. The sonographer said there's a couple waiting and we can't hold them back, I said I could ask them if they wouldn't mind waiting or as an alternative I asked could we be slotted in later.

My husband entered reiterating the importance of this appointment and everything we had been through, the sonographer was unmoved and actually just smiled and said they couldn't help. I started bawling. My husband informed the sonographer that we had been let down by the WHSCT before and were already considering taking a case hoping the sonographer would empathise. Instead, they continued to smile and advised we were making them uncomfortable. I advised them that I was pouring my heart out to them, in tears talking about my PTSD and previous miscarriage whilst they smiled down at me on the bed (they clearly didn't seem to understand the importance of body language either) but we were somehow making them uncomfortable.

I left distraught, all my flashbacks of poor care and feeling powerless came flooding back. I cried in the corridor as my asthma flared up with the stress. Some lovely staff from the other clinic in Anderson House asked if I needed a drink or any support and I'll never forget their kindness. After my husband sought some support, another sonographer kindly agreed to do the scan only about an hour after our slot and in the same room and thankfully all was well. All we asked for was some empathy, flexibility and creativity in helping us solve our issue.

There was nothing stopping the first sonographer taking us in after the last couple but I guess getting home at 4:30 was more important than offering a traumatised pregnant woman a little reassurance and support (person-centred care at its finest). We also heard from another member of staff that the strict slots excuse was nonsense, as couples who get bad news aren't rushed out and couples coming behind just have to wait.

Again this wasn't the first time I've been mistreated by WHSCT maternity services, but this occasion was the most shocking because of the lack of empathy, support, bedside manner and basic human kindness.