"Mental health nurse liaison"

Nicki introduced herself to me while I was waiting to be medically cleared to have a conversation following an attempt to end my life leaving me in A&E. 

I was anxious and not sure what to expect as I hadn’t been to A&E as an adult for my mental health before. From what I remember the staff around me were all kind, caring, and considerate for what was going on for me. 

Nicki spoke with my ILS worker, parents, and the crisis team. She kept everyone in the loop, and informed on what we discussed and the plan moving forward to help support me. Nicki was probably the best person I’ve spoken to during a mental health crisis. This is because of the way she listened, and validated what was going on. She didn’t pressurise me, and she also didn’t just talk about skills as a distraction. She let me discuss what was going on, why I felt this way, and what I needed moving forwards. 

No words can express my gratitude for Nicki taking her time to not only introduce herself to me, but keeping me in the loop which started with her speaking to ILS, introducing herself to me, speaking with my parents, speaking with me, speaking with ILS, speaking with me, speaking to crisis, then back to my dad and I. She kept us in the loop with what she was saying and doing to help keep me safe and supported through this dark time. 

If I was to attended A&E again I would happily engage with Nicki. She doesn’t go by stigma, and she also doesn’t go by a script. She goes by individuals wants and needs. She only just met me and she told me she believed in me that my dream will come true of my future and I will never be too old. 

If you asked me in January, I would have told you that healthcare services don’t like me and I’m just a red flag falling through the cracks. Nobody wanting to help me, nobody listening to me, nobody believing in me. Since then I’ve met MULTIPLE professionals in the trust who do want to help me, listen to me, and believe in me. Nicki is just one of the people who was only involved for a short period of time, but made a difference. My key worker at ILS Ailysha is the one who’s taking her time to make the bigger successful difference for me. We need more professionals like them in our services because they truly have helped me more than anybody understands. I have my people now who see my world lighting up when I can’t. 

For now I am multiple weeks days without a suicide attempt, been discharged from CRHTT, and being more explicit with my wants and needs. Using my voice which I have been too scared to used due to fear of rejection, being told I was a liar, and feeling undeserving. 

I’m trying to set myself a goal, and what makes my heart glow is the hope at the end of my therapy with ILS in September, one of the MPFT services for mental health will approach me with a job/apprentice opportunity. I don’t know the exact role I want but starting as a support worker sounds pretty good and working my way up - maybe even to become a mental health nurse. I want to help people who fall through the cracks and have felt the same way I have. 

I’m not ashamed that I needed more support, and now is the start of me growing confidence to use my voice and be explicit about my thoughts, feelings, wants, and needs. I’m going to be more than a government statistic for suicide under 25 with a diagnosis of EUPD.

Nicki and Ailysha thank you for showing me light 💡 ⭐️