"I have been seriously, unequivocally failed"

My review is primarily because of the absolutely unacceptable situation I was faced from Gynae team a few weeks back.

I was admitted to Isabella ward in for severe pain in my lower abdominal area, due to a fibroid pushing on my bladder and causing an overactive bladder.

I'll say that many of the nursing staff were wonderful, but there was one staff member who really seemed to have no idea how to treat people with severe pain. Or autistic people.

The day before my discharge the doctor, who also didn’t seem to understand people, took me off the one pain relief that works well with the other medication I am on. For me, if I have a pain level of 10 I become dissociative and I have no idea what I am doing. No recollection either. Its highly documented that this happens. This happened to me the morning I was discharged. I woke up in the early hours in severe pain and then, next thing I knew, I came to sat on a chair with a staff member (who I mentioned above) sat directly in front of me, knees almost touching mine, no space to breathe, boxing me in, writing down everything I said. They then laughed at me a number of times. I was already shaken up and upset by what had happened, and I felt this person was so nasty to me.

I was treated like a mental health patient all day, despite clearly being back to the same person they had nursed for several weeks. I wasn't allowed to pee. I wasn't allowed to wash. If I stood up for a walk, they wouldn’t let me. Their eyes were on me the whole day, and it felt like they glared at me, like I was something this person had stood on. They even wrote down things I said confidentially to my friend on a call! I felt so claustrophobic.

Then on discharge, the nurse in charge came in. They were going through my medication and told me that the doctor teams (i had only the gynae team the whole time) had taken me off a pain relief I’d been on for 2 1/2 years which is my back up medication. I only take it when pain is becoming too much and it’s a while until I can take the other medication. I said to them that I wasn't going until I had an explanation as to why.

Then, the rudest doctor I’ve ever had came in. I asked why they had taken me off the one medication that is my back up. They replied that if I hardly used it, then I didn’t need it. It felt like they used the fact I didn’t take the medication all the time against me to take me off it.

I explained that that made no sense as it was my backup. They didn’t listen and it felt like they were gaslighting me. They said the doctors had told me about it (which they hadn’t). The argument went on, with them making no sense at all to me, although I was trying to understand.

They then went on to talk about how doctors train to be doctors, (i mean... who knew? So condescending) and how the NHS is a free service. Sorry. The NHS isn’t free. I’ve paid £1000s in taxes, as have all my friends. They also talked about how ‘patient’ people had been, but they refused to tell me what they meant by that and all the nurses I spoke to afterwards said that was rubbish, as I had always been lovely and respectful towards them.

I then, quite calmly, asked them what should I do if the pain becomes too high, if I have no medication to take as a back up. They refused to answer and said I was being condescending, which I wasn't.

In my opinion this person’s behaviour was not appropriate for a doctor. I felt that their manner towards me was incredibly nasty. I actually felt that this team wanted me to end my life during a dissociative episode. I felt like they wanted me gone. I am not making this up.

In the end, not only did I get sent home without that medication, but they also left 3 other medications out as well.

I also experienced negligence at other points during my stay, and on other visits to the hospital.

I have severe light sensitivity and on one occasion they turned on the main lights and the light tore through my retina. I had an immediate sharp pain and then a floater. I was taken to the Royal eye unit down stairs and needed emergency laser treatment to fix it.

When I was admitted on a different occasion with flu and an asthma flare up, I was taken off the nebulisers that were helping, and I immediately declined again. The doctor on that occasion told me to go home and see how I get on. But I couldn’t breathe. I went home then called BAPAM. They said to go to a different hospital, which I did. I then spent over 5 weeks there. Turned out I had pneumonia. My oxygen was seriously low and BP seriously high, as was my heart rate (and I have a heart condition). But the first hospital just wouldn’t listen.

Frankly, I feel I have been seriously, unequivocally failed by the whole lot of them. The hospital has been negligent in their behaviour towards me, and several doctors have displayed no compassion. I am terrified at the thought of ever going back there, even though I have other serious medical conditions. I feel I have nowhere to go within the NHS.