"The communication and patient support felt inconsistent"

At my 12-week scan we were told our baby no longer had a heartbeat. The sonographer, consultant and EPAC team were compassionate, supportive and informative. They explained our options clearly and treated us with care and respect at a devastating time.

When I arrived on the ward for my medicated procedure, no staff were present. I was shown to a room with no explanation about what would happen next.

After the first medication, I had to ask what to do. Only then was I told to use a pan in the toilet and ring the buzzer. Basic supplies were missing from the room and had to be restocked. This left me feeling unprepared and unsupported.

After two rounds of medication, while passing clots and feeling like something was about to happen, I asked for more time. Instead, I was told to stand and taken to another room, while my husband was told to stay behind. When I entered, a nurse was setting up equipment, taking swabs and metal instruments out of packets, but they did not speak to me. I was not told what was going to happen, I was terrified.

I asked the nurse to please fetch my husband. Once he arrived, the doctor came in. Their  calm nature, clear explanations, and the way they consented me for the ultrasound made a big difference. The scan showed the baby was still present. The doctor told us our options and said to take our time in discussing what we wanted to do next. The doctor then left us to talk privately. A few moments later, a nurse came in and abruptly asked why we were still there and told us to get back to our room.

Back in my own room, I went to the toilet and passed the baby. It was extremely distressing. I then fainted, my husband caught me as this began and lifted me from the bathroom to the bed himself, as staff did not immediately come when the buzzer was pulled— the bathroom buzzer was not a crash alarm.

I regained consciousness later, by which point IV fluids and medication were given. I also overheard staff in the corridor refer to my bathroom as a blood bath, which I found humiliating. In the evening, I eventually wanted hot food after fainting and blood loss, but no one had told us that no evening food service was available. By the time we realised, nothing was open. My husband eventually found a dry sandwich, but I struggled to eat it given dehydration and weakness.

I was discharged without a scan to confirm completion. Three weeks later I continued bleeding and tested positive on the pregnancy test provided.

When I phoned the hospital, the call felt dismissive, as though I was an annoyance. I was told I had done the wrong test, even though it was the one issued on discharge. I felt belittled and that my concerns were not taken seriously.

At hospital I was seen by a student nurse who tried their best but was left unsupported. Every question I asked required them to leave, seek advice, and return. I felt uncertain, unsupported and unsafe.

When bleeding worsened a further 3 days later, I phoned again. At first I was told to see my GP, which surprised me. After checking with a doctor, staff called back and asked me to come in urgently.

At the gynaecology suite I was told there would be long waits, and indeed there were. Nurses came in to take observations, but no one explained the overall plan. At one stage, I was taken to another room without explanation. Sitting by a desk, I only realised I was there for a scan when a nurse asked why I was not already on the ultrasound bed. They left before I could answer.

The doctors who arrived explained clearly, scanned me, and found that my placenta was still attached. A speculum exam confirmed tissue remained. With my consent, the team removed the tissue, rescanned, and confirmed completion. The intervention was appropriate and effective, but the communication and patient support again felt inconsistent.

The contrast between the excellent care at EPAC and the poor communication and support on the ward was stark. In particular, I would like to ask: why are patients not routinely offered a scan before discharge to confirm completion? This single step could prevent avoidable returns, reduce ongoing bleeding and uncertainty, and avoid repeated hospital visits.

My aftercare overall felt poor. The gynaecology suite nursing team did not feel patient-centred, and this shaped my experience.

Improvements that would help include:

• Clear, proactive communication about what will happen, what to expect, and why.

• Allowing partners to remain present whenever possible.

• Sensitive, respectful language (never comments such as blood bath within earshot).

• Safety protocols when a patient collapses, including keeping partners informed.

• Ensuring rooms are adequately stocked before patient use.

• Offering a scan before discharge, or a clear option for one.

• Supporting student staff so patients feel safe and confident in their care.

• Clear communication about food availability, with suitable options for patients recovering from acute blood loss.

I am grateful for the compassion shown by the scan and EPAC team. But the ward and follow-up experiences left me frightened, dismissed and humiliated at a time when I needed care and dignity.

I share this account in the hope that future patients and families will be treated with the consistent compassion, safety and respect they deserve.