"Weighing babies and breastfeeding"

I have breastfed 2 children - one born in 2022 and one born in 2024.  Both children were born with tongue ties which were snipped within a few days of being born at my request because I found the feeding very painful.  Both my babies took just a little while to get the hang of feeding with a free tongue!  So it took a while to settle back into routine.  My first baby lost 10% of his weight and my second baby lost 11%.  They were both clearly very healthy babies and all the midwives who reviewed said so but the only box they didnt tick was weight gain.  They lost a lot to begin with and then struggled to make the big gains that the rules said they should be. 

Both times I had to go into the midwife hub every couple of days to weigh my baby.  In those early days, anyone who has had a baby will know how hard it is to get out the door and how disruptive it is to feeding schedules.  Moreover I would be told again how my baby needed to be gaining more weight etc and I always came out feeling like a failure and generally landed home in tears!  I found it seriously affected my mental health and didnt make those early days the pleasant memory they should be. 

To be clear, neither of my babies ever lost weight or showed any signs of ill health.  They were very happy, very good and very healthy babies but the only thing that seemed to matter to the midwives was the fact they werent gaining the amount of weight they apparently should be gaining.  It just seemed so ridiculous!  Every child is different and with the added complication of a tongue tie being freed early on, it was no wonder it took a while for them to gain weight.  When my second baby was born, I was heavily pushed to use formula top ups so my baby could meet the recommended weight gains.  I tried the top ups but they caused no end of complications for me and my baby.  It totally is not the point of breastfeeding or baby led feeding.  I was giving my baby more than she wanted and she was being constantly sick.  So after a week of that ridiculous rigmarole, I refused to follow any of their instructions.  I told the lactation consultant what I was going to do (breastfeed normally and go at the baby's pace) and I said I wasnt going to come in for another weighing session for a week.  They werent too pleased but reluctantly agreed to no top ups and I had to settle at 3 days. 

Its taken me a while to write this because I find it quite tearful to go back over those early days.  That constant feeling of failure, the massive amount of pressure to feed my baby formula top ups and the constant getting out to appointments.  If they had just left us alone to relax, enjoy the feeding experience and be led by my baby's needs, I am very sure that both of my babies would have gained weight quicker than they did.  They both regained their birth weight by 3 weeks just.  I want to share my story because I believe the health boards need to be more individual in their approach.  If I didnt have my mother's unwavering support at my side all the time, I would have given up breastfeeding within the first week.  It just didnt seem worth all that pressure and hassle.  It was a humiliating and discouraging experience and I do not wish to go through it again. 

I know the midwives were doing their job but I believe the guidance is way off.  When your hormones are already so up the shoot with having a new baby, the last thing you can do with is feeling very pressured into doing something against your instinct.