"I have been left feeling forgotten"

So it’s been 2 years being passed around service to service. I referred myself to Notts talking therapies in September 2023 and had to wait until April to hear anything back. After the first appointment they only just realised I was a diagnosed BPD and then referred me to the Mansfield local mental health team. I felt like I was getting somewhere with my journey and was dedicated to getting better and working with services. I didn’t hear anything from Mansfield local mental health team.

I called every day for the month of June in 2024 for them to be dismissive of any updates and actually telling me they can’t give me an update. Then I got a letter in August (no phone call back) saying that I was being discharged from them and being referred to Notts MBT for treatment. I then call Notts MBT and explained I had been passed on to their services. To which the response was that they will contact me within a few weeks.

After around 10 weeks I got a call saying that I am in their service and I was excited after a year had passed since asking for help now to which I was again getting false hope as they said the waiting period was around a year. I have since only received an appointment every 3 months or so which is just someone asking how I am and every time I have asked about an update on when I start. There’s still no update and I often call them without even a call back.

So it’s been 2 years of seeking and trying for support and a service I’m not even sure will work as I’m yet to see it. I realise the situation is probably due to lack of funding and high demand. However after 2 years my mental health is worse than ever. I feel like the worst mistake I have ever made is trying to get support. After a couple suicide attempted over the waiting period. Still lack of engagement. I made complaints to PALs but I still only get a phone call from the service I’m complaining about pretty much telling me there’s nothing they can do.

I am a human being in need of support. I haven’t received adequate support. But the mental health system particularly Mansfield local mental health team and crisis team with their lack of staffing and lack of ability has left me resentful towards support even though I know that’s not the best mindset to have when receiving care. I have been left feeling forgotten, let down and like I really don’t matter and don’t feel worth helping. I’m learning I don’t matter.