"Very caring, understand, helpful and kind"

My mum was diagnosed with a brain tumour, after suffering a stroke. She was referred to Accord Hospice for palliative care at home. It was at this point that I was referred to Accord for family support. I really didn’t know what to expect or gain from this.  

Here is my story.

I am only child, married with no children but have 2 dogs. My dad died 2 years previous to my mum’s diagnosis. Mum and I were very close so this news that mum was under palliative care was devastating as I knew she was going to die. As soon as the opportunity arose for me to receive counselling I jumped at the opportunity.

I was introduced to Joy. Fortunately for me my mum knew Joy through the hospice, from work that my mum did with the hospice,  and was delighted that she would be there to support me.

I met with Joy for the first time and we immediately clicked. She was a very caring, understand, helpful and kind person. Joy prepared me for the next steps in my mum's journey, she was there for me through tears, snots, laughter and smiles. She made me feel thankful that my mum gave birth to me and that my mum's legacy lives on in me because my mum was such a kind, caring and wonderful person and brought me up to have similar traits. 

Joy was there with me as well as be there for me at every session. I looked forward to my sessions with Joy as she was my comfort blanket.

Once mum died the counselling sessions turned to bereavement. Joy gave me strategies to cope with my new life without my mum. My mum would want me to be happy and not sit about feeling sorry for myself. Joy suggested I kept buying birthday and Christmas and Mother’s Day cards as my mum was still my mum. I do this and it helps me, I buy a wee gift for under the tree and I release a balloon on her birthday.

A year after my mum died I have now finished my sessions with Joy, but that door is always open for me and that gives me comfort. It is about the needs of the individual, not waiting lists or a certain number of sessions. The needs of the individual are key at a challenging time of death and the journey leading to death. I needed support and I will continue to need that support.

Accord Hospice and Joy have been a key and crucial part of my life and will continue to be as I encounter this journey without mum. Thank you so much, Joy. You are an amazing individual, with so many strengths and talents. I now consider you as my friend not my counselling lady.

Anybody who is referred to this service I highly recommend you take up the offer, you never know when you will need those wee key nuggets to get you through the difficult times. Don’t be alone, please accept the help of Accord Hospice.