"Long waiting times affecting my physical and mental health"

I had a Cystoscopy 12 months ago to diagnose my Symptoms properly. The Consultant and Nurses were Great. It was found to be a large Stone in my Bladder. A few days later I received a letter saying I was now on the waiting list for a Cystolitholapaxy Operation, but due to how busy the NHS is at the moment, it may take longer than the 12 week period to get operation.

A short while later I got a pre-op appointment, I thought that was good as you normally get one just before your operation date. Then I got an appointment for an Ultrasound. Again, I thought that was good. The Staff have been great at all these appointments.

Unfortunately, 12 months on and no appointment for operation has been received.

Due to the Stone in my Bladder I have been unable to do any form of physical exercise for over 12 Months now. Any time I do anything physical I pass slithers of skin that the stone has taken off the inside of my bladder, I Pass Blood and sometimes large blood Clots. I then get a Urine Infection which is extremely sore.

One time recently I was passing pure Blood and large Blood clots all day for 7 days. And have been sent to A&E after phoning 111 worrying about passing a load of blood and clots.

I have had around 8 or 9 courses of Anti Biotics for infections since January.

I have lost count the amount of times I have had to visit my doctor in the last 12 Months. That’s the only time I get out the house nowadays.

Due to not being able to do any form of Physical exercise for over 12 months now, I've been stuck in the house all day every day. I have put on so much weight as I can’t do anything. We enjoy walking, and I have gone from walking 9 or 10 miles on a regular basis, shorter walks numerous times a week, Going cycling, going fishing, going on my exercise bike or cross trainer in the house, to struggling to get up the stairs, struggling to put my socks on, struggling to wash properly.

Every single step I take I get a twinge pain in my bladder, sitting in a car, every bump I get that pain.

The Stone seems to have grown and things have just been getting worse. It's getting so bad now I can't even sit upright on a chair for any length of time without being in pain. The only way I can be pain free is lying on the couch or in Bed. So basically bedridden now.

That’s just the physical side. My Mental health is even worse. I walked a lot as part of my living; I go walking for pleasure. I go Cycling. My main Hobby is fishing. All outside pursuits. And I have been stuck in the house in pain a lot of the time for over 12 months now. And not able to do any of the things I like that could take my mind off things.

It’s done my head in. I am so depressed all the time. The doctor has prescribed Anti-Depressants, which are not doing much to help. Due to me having suicidal thoughts as I don't have a life anymore, my doctor asked my wife to keep hold of my tablets and just give me one at night, so I can't take them all at once.

I saw a nurse recently who was checking on my high blood pressure, she seen I was in a bad way mentally, so for the first time in my life she made an appointment for me to see a mental health nurse. She was nice, but I can’t say it made much difference to my outlook, or lack of any outlook. The Nurse also spoke to a doctor, who put an Emergency referral into the Hospital, not sure who exactly. Not heard anything back. But my doctor had also put in a referral a few months back due to my health. Not heard anything about that either.

I also contacted my local MP a few weeks ago. She has contacted the NHS on my behalf as well. Again, I have not heard anything back.

I have nothing to get up for in the mornings, I can’t do even small tasks around the house now. I have to just lie on the couch or lie in my bed to be pain free. I have nothing to look forward to. No outlook. So, at the moment, Suicide seems the best option for me. I can’t do this anymore. It would also take one off the NHS waiting list.

Every health professional I come in contact with are first class. Always friendly, always helpful, But overall, I am not having the best experience with the NHS just now.