"Postnatal team derailed my breastfeeding journey"

I gave birth to my daughter in April 2025. The vaginal birth had been a success where I left everything to staff to decide what was medically necessary. But the only thing I was absolutely clear about was that I wanted to establish exclusive breastfeeding.

I had seen a lactation consultant before pregnancy, I was committed to skin-to-skin from the second my baby was born. In fact I had my baby on me for at least the first 24 hours. My baby was latching, painfully but I was determined to make it work.

The atmosphere changed dramatically once we entered the postnatal ward. Midwives and hospital lactation consultants started asking how much colostrum I had expressed. Instead of support, I was met with pressure, dismissiveness, and difficult conversations about introducing formula.

Their approach felt invasive: breasts squeezed, baby pressed onto me, not at all aligned with the nurturing method I had trained for. Every conversation I had with them ended in tears because of what I was being told. I kept saying that I wanted to go home (both baby and I felt fine so we didn’t see any reasons to stay) so that I can work with private lactation consultants but we kept being fed with tomorrows.

The stress, I later learned, likely delayed my milk (which came on day 5). During our stay, in desperation, my husband and I gave formula just to be discharged, only to be kept longer anyway. Midwives were advising formula for every cry, and I was told repeatedly that I couldn’t go home without a sustainable feeding plan. It felt like, by sustainable feeding plan they meant being definitely on formula feeding. A bottle with a teat is the only way provided by the hospital. If I were at home, I could easily introduce syringing or SNS if indeed more fluids were required for the baby. Little that I knew back then, if I were in a home setting with my lactation consultant by my side, she could guide me with all the safe alternatives while we are working to establish EBF.

When I tried to self-discharge, I was told I could leave but my baby had to stay. That left me terrified, silenced, and feeling blackmailed. That was the scariest thing I’ve ever heard! Can you imagine someone telling you about the possibility of being separated from your baby on day 2?!

Despite being under hospital care, less than 24 hours after finally being finally discharged, my daughter was readmitted with an infected umbilical cord, requiring another five days in hospital and three courses of antibiotics. I was actually constantly checking with staff about the look of the belly button before but was told everything was fine. So, we were in the hospital again and I was left to face hospital consultants pushing for formula. I was pumping, but nipple confusion had already set in, and my breastfeeding journey had been derailed.

Afterwards, I spoke to the head of infant feeding and the head of midwifery. I was told that our formula-inclined society affects midwives as well, and that when something isn’t going 100% right, staff often push for formula to get it over and done with.

I learned that legally I could have discharged myself with my baby, and no one should have told me otherwise. They didn’t know who said that to me. I was also told that the only requirement in my case was for me to be observed for 24 hours after birth. Everything else was unnecessary, especially the need for them to help with anything regarding my baby.

In reality, I stayed for three and a half more mentally painful days in hospital, and another five days afterwards, because despite me pointing out the umbilical cord, no one took it seriously.

If I had known all of this then, I would have demanded clear medical reasons for keeping us, or else insisted on leaving with my baby. Instead, I was silenced by fear, pressure and misinformation.

My lesson is important: sometimes speaking up is not enough. You must demand, insist and even escalate if something doesn’t feel right as a mother. Next time, I would rather be hysterical and fighting for my baby and myself than be threatened into silence.

I still cry when I think of those days. I entered the hospital with every intention, apart from delivering a healthy baby, of breastfeeding exclusively. And while I left the hospital with a beautiful daughter, I also left with trauma, pumping, bottles, and formula. Not because of my body or my baby, but because of how postnatal care was handled.