"Day to day care seemed lacking at times"

My mum is in her 80s and was recently admitted, initially on the stroke ward but moved to ward 7. She was then moved to Keith, spending 21 days on ward 7.

During her time there she only received one shower, she was helped initially getting a bed wash but this was then stopped and she was given a bowl and cloths and told to wash herself. They said they promoted independence but she could not wash herself before being admitted! So how was she going to manage when in hospital.

On one occasion I washed and dressed her myself as the ward seemed to be very under staffed when I went in at 10am on a Saturday morning. She also had a fall one day not long after being admitted, and it was only when I asked about my mum's blood pressure that afternoon that the nurse remembered they had meant to phone me to inform me of the fall, I think had I not spoken to them I would never have been told about this incident.

There was a period of time where she was left to soil herself into her pads, no help with a commode or bed pan, this causing her to get a very sore bottom which subsequently required a prescription cream from the Dr to help it heal.

Overall there were times where I felt my mum was bullied, she has poor mobility and her body is failing but her mind is sharp, she told me she was scolded for wetting her bed one night, her hearing aids were at the nursing station to charge and when she asked for them she was told she could not have them as they were broken, admittedly the nurse did say afterwards there had been a mix up over them, but the way my mum described how she was spoken to it was like she was a child.

After discussions with the consultant, it was all agreed that my mum would be referred for a care home place and she was no longer confident or capable even with 4 times daily care to go home, however that night the nurse on duty did not seem to know this and was adamant to my mum that she was definitely going home, my mum said she did not sleep that night as she was confused and anxious because she knew we had discussed this and this was now no longer the case.

I appreciate the nurse may not have been told this on handover, but when my mum had said this, it would have been helpful if the nurse had gone and checked their file, instead of arguing with her over it. My mum did not want me to say anything while she was in the ward as I believe she was scared how she would then be treated. She said do not say anything as it will just make it worse for me, how awful that a woman in her 80s was anxious like this.

My mum was suffering from blood pressure issues which made her a fall risk, there were times she was helped to the toilet but many other times due to her urgency to go, she went herself unsupervised. Overall the ward seems very understaffed at times.

I do want to say the Dr and consultants were attentive and provided good care to my mum, however day to day care seemed lacking at times,  I appreciate wards are busy, but one shower in 21 days!

Many members of my family work for the NHS, I understand the demands are high, but there is no need to treat an old woman like this, she still deserves respect and care. I would love to ask the nurses how they would feel if it were their mother or grandmother. Would they be happy for them to be left to soil into their pads?

I do wish to add there was a student on the ward during my mum's stay and they were absolutely lovely, very attentive - to the point my mum referred to them as her pal,