"Attitude and Audacity"

I had a very traumatic birthing experience for my first child. I then requested a detailed debrief to let me know what happened during my hospital stay as I had an emergency c-section and then another abdominal surgery 2 days later due to an internal bleed. I was told some information at the hospital during my stay but I could not retain all of it as during this time i was not very coherent as I was passing in and out of consciousness due to the amount of blood I was losing. When I got the debrief appointment I was told to go to the dunfermline hospital 30 minutes away from where I live, also not the hospital I was treated at. I was 5 minutes late to this appointment due to traffic and called before arrival to let them know this I was told that was perfectly fine and they would pass the message on to the staff member I was to see.

I was seen by a staff member who was very rude and unprofessional to me, they told me we were having this debriefing as I had a hard time in the hospital, they asked me how I was doing I told them I was physically alright minus some pain around my incision area but mentally it had taken quite the toll on me and I was now having to speak to a therapist. Their attitude was immediately terrible and they even spoke over me as I was answering their question, they had no idea what happened during my hospital stay and had an attitude with me because of that, they then started reading my notes off the computer which did not match to what I was told initially in the hospital. We informed the staff member of this as we were confused as to why and they just kept telling us they couldn’t help as they weren't there, spoke over us many times and constantly shewed off my boyfriend (my child’s father) every time he spoke. As we were telling them what we were told they was throwing themselves back on their chair and raising their voice towards us, then asked me what doctor performed my surgery so i told them and the response was that they are not here so what are they supposed to do. My boyfriend then made a comment about the situation and they kicked him out the room, asked a midwife to come into the room so i then tried to explain to the midwife what was going on after the midwife introduced herself, I made them aware that the notes didn’t match up to what I was told and I was confused by this, I told the midwife that we weren’t being rude or disputing what the staff member was saying but their attitude towards us made me feel uncomfortable.

The entire time I tried to explain this to the midwife I was spoken over and then told me this debrief was going no where. We then asked if my notes could be sent to another doctor or midwife who can explain it better they then said no and will send my notes to me and I can deal with it myself. I then got very upset started uncontrollably shaking crying and panicked and started to leave the room, as I was leaving the midwife called in rubbed my arm and apologised.

It’s safe to say I am very unhappy with the way me and my family were treated in this situation and I am no further in finding out what actually happened during my stay and how I came to be in theatre for 2 major surgeries in a matter of 2 days. I found the staff members demeanour and attitude were appalling and disrespectful from the moment we were called from that waiting room the way they spoke to me and my family was so disgusting, disrespectful and I have never dealt with such a rude person in my life I am very hurt by their actions. I am still no further in my debrief and their solution to this is to send me, an untrained medical professional, my notes and figure it out myself. All I wanted was closure on a situation that has impacted me so much I now seek medical help for my mental health and they acted as if I was a burden that was just wasting their time and couldn’t be bothered with me from the second I met them.