"Feeling pressured, bullied and manipulated in SWAH maternity"

After 2 dreadful experiences with my 1st and 2nd I felt I had no other option but to stay as far away as possible.

I booked in over the phone which was made out to be a hassle as they “needed” my BMI (no, you don’t). I then had a phone call with the midwife who was very happy I was having my baby at home - great.

After my anomaly scan I was told my baby was too big and sent a letter to attend a consultant appointment. I declined.

Closer to the end of my pregnancy I contacted the midwife to ask when my home birth assessment would be. They  said I’m not having one because I’m not booked in (I was).

Thought this must be a mistake so contacted the most senior member of staff available who confirmed that the  midwife is right and I’m not having a homebirth assessment unless I follow their list of commands (BMI check, blood pressure check, urine check, another scan, a consultant appointment and a “birth choices” appointment.)

I was very confused by this as I knew my rights and knew that all NHS maternity care is OPTIONAL and as long as I am booked in, which I was, and that there was a homebirth service running, which there was, that a midwife must be sent to me in labour.

There was a lot of back and forth then with the senior staff member saying I cannot have a homebirth assessment and my argument back to her that it is my legal right. I’m not sure if she lacks knowledge in this extremely important area of maternity care or if she was being manipulative.. perhaps both.

I knew there would be issues having dealt with SWAH maternity before so I had contacted BirthRights to let them know. They helped me understand that I was right in my thinking and said that I should take this to the head of midwifery.. They were shocked to hear that it was the head of midwifery I had been dealing with.

After a few emails of my continually outlining my rights and eventually copying BirthRights into the email, the senior member of staff finally gave up and said I could have my assessment without doing any of the things I had previously been told I MUST do. Strange.

Had the appointment with the midwife (against my wishes) and the lovely Fidelma (she is a gem!). The midwife didn’t know what a maternal assisted caesarean was and thought that I wanted to perform my own caesarean. Then they told me to stop talking about my plans for a caesarean because I “absolutely was not going to have one”.. I’m not sure why they would tell me not to plan for a c section when SWAH had a 50% caesarean rate in January 2025, this was shown on the FOI request I sent.

They picked through my plan and said I couldn’t do X,Y and Z. I just nodded until they left my house as I couldn’t listen to this nonsense.

Finally I had some peace until I was getting closer to 41 weeks and I asked the senior member of staff for the on call rota from 41-42 weeks. I was told I can’t have it until I have a conversation about induction of labour. No thanks I said, I’m not having an induction me and my baby are safe and healthy. That wasn’t good enough, I MUST have a conversation about it or I’m not getting my rota.

I was not being induced and I certainly wasn’t going to have a conversation about being induced just because they are uncomfortable with someone being pregnant for a normal length of time. At this point I’m quite stressed that I may go into labour post 41 weeks and have no midwife to call, and I’m absolutely going no where near this place to birth my baby. I feel I’m being forced into freebirth.

In one last attempt I asked the senior member of staff “what will happen if I go into labour post 41 weeks and I ring the hospital looking for a midwife?” They  said they would send ambulance to my house.

I could not believe this was coming from such a senior member of staff. Wasting vital resources by sending an ambulance to a non-emergency.

I contacted BirthRights yet again to be told that I am right in thinking this would be wrong of the senior member of staff and because I have booked in for a home birth and they have a service running, they must send me a midwife.

I gave up and decided I may or may not call someone when I am in labour.

40+4 I went into labour, seen the name Kerri (an amazing midwife) on the rota along with Maria who I hadn’t met so was unsure, however I trusted Kerri so let’s just call them and see how it goes.

These two women were the most amazing team. Completely hands off, explaining and seeking consent for everything. Respect and understanding of the physiology of birth. My baby was born with his cord wrapped around his neck twice and he was blue/white. Kerri calmly asked if I’d like her to unwrap the cord. I can’t begin to imagine the chaos and panic this would have caused in hospital. Maria was the calm, gentle presence that was needed.

You both are true midwives (with woman) and I am so grateful that it was you on call that day, my home birth was amazing after the most stressful pregnancy (caused by the other two members of staff).

*please do not reply to this l've already made a formal complaint and I've heard quite enough from the trust