"Playtherapy"

My son lost his dad just before his 4th birthday. He was struggling with his emotions and developed a verbal tic when anxious. I went to his school for support who recommended Cruse bereavement services. It was a good service but felt that my son didnt benefit from it because he was so young. The GP referred him to CAHMS. 

We were on the waiting list for over 2 years and when I tried other avenues for help they turned us down because we were on the CAHM waiting list. That was frustrating. The struggle with his emotions and the verbal tic continued and it was causing him distress & outbursts. I felt lost as I was unable to make it better for him. 

We started play therapy with Martina in Downpatrick. I was anxious at first because he would be going in on his own but she met with us both and explained what would happen in the play room. From the first meeting I finally felt we could get the help needed. I knew that my son would be in a safe space. 

We attended weekly sessions and each time my son was excited to go meet with her. They built up a trusting relationship and after each session he seemed relaxed, even so that he fell asleep on the car journey home a few times. He became aware of his emotions and how to process them and Martina helped him with his 'toolkit' when he needed it. 

I could see him using what he had learned outside of the playroom when different situations popped up and when he couldn't process feelings, he would ask me to ask him questions to help work through it. He has learnt how to verbalise how he is feeling rather than having emotional outburst which has really helped us both.

When I met one on one with Martina I learnt a lot. I always thought feeling all the feelings was a negative thing and felt like it was a burden on my son as he was so young. I learnt that it is an amazing trait to have and we just have to find ways to help him deal with the big feelings. 

She reassured me on any worries I had and she gave me advice on things I can do to help that we have now put into practice at home. He even has his own 'cosy corner' for when he feels overwhelmed. We go and do our breathing, other exercises she taught us or read a recommended book.

Understanding that my child has been going through a trauma & processing it healthy way really reassured me. He openly talks about his dad, shares happy memories and feels sad sometimes. Before I was doing everything to try & not let him feel the sadness but now I understand its ok to feel sad and we just go through it.

We were supported throughout our whole time with Martina. Even when my son was in the playroom the other staff members were so welcoming, friendly and supportive to me.  

As cliché as it sounds, play therapy was a game changer for us. It helped my son process things in a way a child understands. And it helped me to understand that feeling all the feelings isn't a bad thing. 

I can't thank Martina & the CAHMs team enough!