"Poor experiences of care"

My husband is very poorly man, he has a serious heart condition, dementia and is now a wheelchair user.  Because of this he currently resides in a nursing home.

Incident One:

Around March/April time my husband became very unwell at the home, he was very light-headed, unsteady on his feet and so an ambulance was called and he was taken to Ulster hospital.  Tests revealed he was iron deficient so he was given iron and blood transfusion.  I was on my way to visit, obviously worried because he was so unwell to be told he had been discharged back to the nursing home.  I was concerned as usually an assessment of his health and care plan would have been carried out to ensure that it was safe to discharge him.  I was told that the assessment had been carried out and they sent him back to the nursing home around teatime.  Later that night around 11pm he had a very bad fall at the home and was readmitted to hospital where it was discovered he had broken his hip.  When I visited obviously I was concerned and spoke to staff, I wanted to know who had carried out his assessment to be discharged.  They admitted this had been overlooked and a doctor came to speak with me and apologised for the oversight.  My husband was in hospital for quite a long time, he was anaemic and due to his being unwell could not have rehabilitation at that time.  When he was eventually discharged back to the nursing home it was in a wheelchair which he will need permanently need now - he has had a physiotherapist visit the home twice to try to explain to staff how to give physiotherapy to him. 

Incident 2:

Easter of this year, the home sent for the GP as my husband was feeling and looking very unwell - he had an hernia in his groin.  I was told an ambulance would take a very long time to arrive and was asked to drive him myself to A & E.  Just to be clear, I am also disabled and in my 70s but I rang my son who agreed to meet me at the hospital and help me get his father inside to be seen.  

We are sat there in a very busy department with a patient who has dementia and in pain, my husband is also incontinent and he wet himself.  I went to reception and explained this, all the time while my husband is pulling at his wet trousers.  Two nurses came and they helped me to change him into clean clothing.

Seven hours later, we are still waiting to be seen, my husband was distressed, in pain, shouting, crying and again he wet himself.  I once again asked for help to change him but this was refused and I was told everyone was too busy.

I explained that the environment was too much for my husband with his condition and asked if there was a small room, a quiet space or even some screening that we could use - anything to manage the situation better.  We were sat at the side of a person under the influence - so not a pleasant environment at all.  It was horrendous, no facilities to help us at all!!

I eventually asked to see a Patient Advocate but was told none was available during the weekend, I was told to push the button on the wall and a nurse would come and talk with me instead.  I did this and explained the situation, that my husband had no dignity, was genuinely ill, distressed, confused etc.

This led to a doctor finally coming and he was taken for examination.  Due to the serious nature of his heart condition my poor husband had to have the hernia manually manipulated back in place. After this procedure and in the very early morning they wanted to send him back to the nursing home.  He was by this point totally confused, frightened and in pain and after I spoke with them they agreed to keep in him overnight.

This has left my husband terrified of the hospital and he goes into panic mode when I have to take him to the hospital - he has upcoming appointments which I am dreading.

During these experiences I felt that a lot of the stress, anxiety, confusion could have been avoided if there had been a quiet space and thought given to those patients that are suffering with dementia or are neuro-divergent.  It would also have been helpful if there was someone on site to help, support and advise - I felt at such a loose end and alone!!