"Worst experience of my life"

Six weeks ago I gave birth to my daughter at the RAH and it was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. Throughout all the interactions with the hospital over the 2 weeks before her birth I have felt like my baby was just a number and even with valid risk factors we seemed to be deemed less important than others given constant backlogs and were told conflicting information from various consultants who appeared to just tell us what they thought we wanted to hear. 

Our journey started with a failed induction. We arrived at 11am, were told all day long to expect the doctor who never showed & the process was attempted at 10pm by a midwife which failed due to the indescribable pain and we had to stop (I've previously had 2 other children so am not a first time mum). After this I felt extremely touched out and terrified of another vaginal labour given this situation had felt so intense. I advised I would now rather a c-section and was told there was no bookable sections anywhere in Glasgow for the next 2wks. Hearing this terrified me given I was now almost week 39 with my IVF baby and 3 years ago I had been advised numerous times that IVF babies should be born by week 38/39 (my son was born at 38+3). 

A couple of days later we returned as a "potential emergency c-section". We were taken to a labour suite, gowned up, made to fill in paperwork with numerous members of staff including an anaesthestist who advised we would have our baby within the morning. During this chat a Doctor appeared and told us all plans were cancelled and we were to go home. We were told we were booked in for a confirmed section in six days time. I can't describe the disappointment and mental torment this caused us & believe this was avoidable given they could have sat us elsewhere and let us know the decision when they knew for definite. We were then told that it could happen sooner and to wait for a call back on the Monday, only to be told no again by a staff member who lacked the slightest morsel of empathy. 

During this time my baby's movements changed and we went to triage where we sat for over 2 hours (at 39 weeks pregnant with reduced movements) before we were even seen. I advised I was no longer happy being at home with the change in my baby's movements and given I also had a freshly broken ankle and had been constantly on the go- (in/out of hospitals).

While admitted (the day before booked c-section) I started cramping- I immediately told the midwives as I felt I was going into labour. I was told no phonecalls regarding a section would be made until I was in established labour (4cm) so asked to be examined asap- not wanting to risk it progressing too fast as my son had been born very fast at the end stages, with his head coming out when the midwife left the room. I had mentioned previously this alone was a traumatising experience and it had been mentioned on my notes and was flagging each time someone reviewed my file. Given this information I know the staff had prior knowledge that when in established labour I had previously laboured fast. 

I was examined & was 1-2cm. I was told I wouldn't be examined again for 6 hours unless my condition changed or baby became unhappy. I was soon in constant pain with hardly any respite coming between each contraction. My children were witness to me in this agony and my husband had to rush off with them to family. The pain became intolerable and I genuinely felt like I wanted to die and I kept saying this- meanwhile begging my poor mum to help me or get anyone to help me because I was so scared. I just kept saying "I didn't want this" and begging anyone who would listen for help or any pain relief as I was now throwing up so anything oral wasn't staying down.  I constantly expressed how things had changed and begged to be re-examined - which was denied and I was told not till the 6 hour mark- given baby appeared happy. 

I was terrified, I have gave birth twice and knew that this baby was coming soon. I was begging to be taken to surgery but kept being told there was no space on labour suite and I had to stay put in the ward full of patients and their visitors who were listening to me squealing and begging like a dog to anyone who would listen for them to please, please just help me. Finally as my waters broke I was taken to labour suite again still not surgery where I wanted to go but at least I would have some sort of pain relief.

I was re-examined & was 6cm - within minutes I needed to push and when the midwife looked she said she could see the baby & it was coming right now. I have never been so scared in my life, this was everything I had NOT wanted, but I had been pushed into a corner and now didn't have any choice or time for any other forms of pain relief. 

My daughter was born within minutes and then spent the next 11 days in NICU. Doctors have confirmed this would have happened regardless of her journey into the world however I will never know and will forever feel guilt that I didn't shout louder that I knew she was coming fast. 3 hours from start to finish was all my labour was - it was absolutely everything I did not want it to be and I could not be more distraught or traumatised. 

After all of this I have heard nothing from any of the RAH staff with so much as an "I'm sorry".