"Compassionate assessment"

I started to see a decline in mum, after she had a heart attack about three years ago, where she had a stent put in. I noticed a decline in my mum's condition shortly after that. She was often confused, struggled with short-term memory, repeated words, and would lose her train of thought mid-sentence. They wanted her to undergo an assessment, but my mum refused initially. A couple of years later, I encouraged her to go through with it because she was in denial about her situation. On the day of the assessment, I found the lady who conducted the review to be very helpful, although my mum didn't feel the same way. She was agitated afterward and thought the questions were demeaning, claiming that the nurse treated her as if she was silly.

For me, the assessment filled in the gaps and confirmed my concerns about what was happening; it was a real problem, not just my imagination. As a caregiver, it gave me peace of mind that I was doing the right things to help her and that everything was being organised properly.

From my perspective as her daughter, I felt that the assessment was thorough and compassionate, although Mum couldn't remember being offered any leaflets about the process. I have read them back to front. Mum was in a negative mindset while dealing with her mixed dementia.

We also had an MRI scan, which my GP showed to me, but my mum doesn’t remember the images from the scan. The GP asked my mum if she wanted to know the diagnosis, but she chose not to. The MRI revealed significant changes. My mum previously cared for her mother, who had dementia, and she is afraid of becoming like her—she wonders, "Am I going to go like her?" This makes her feel very scared.

Following the assessment the GP was going to make a referral for a Dementia Outreach Programme, but this still hasn't been organised. I feel me and mum have a different experience of the assessment, from the care giver’s view, whilst mum wasn't impressed, it wasn't anything the nurse had said or done, but more to do with the mood of dementia. Mum shut down, like a teenager. But from my point of view, it was exactly as it should be and really helped for me to understand.

I am hopeful that we will receive news about the outreach programme soon. I have also asked for some information for carer support, so I feel I have the support in place for myself too.