"CAMHS treatment for eating disorders"

This is just an honest review of my time with camhs and how i feel the service impacted me.

In November of 2024 my family realised I had anorexia. within 5 months I had lost 20kg and became very anxious around food, but as I was approaching adulthood I was able to slip by under the radar with the facts that I simply didnt eat anymore.

It came to a head because I was, at that point, actively dying and I was moved straight into hospital inpatient care, where a camhs team would visit me every few days and (despite their minimal involvement and support) ruled over whether I was allowed to discharge myself. When I finally left, I was forced into outpatient meetings with camhs where I was constantly hounded by my dietician, doctor  therapist, psychiatrist, etc. this was when I started to spiral much further.

Before camhs I wasnt concerned with seeing an actual weight decrease on a scale, as I didnt own one and was monitoring my weight loss purely visually. Yet because it was mandatory that I was weighed at the clinic multiple times every week and was refused the option to be blind-weighed, I became obsessed with watching that number go down. I became manipulative and lied often to family who thought I was following the treatment as advised. Over the next 4 months I dropped to below half of what my original weight was and my bmi became deathly. I was sent back to inpatient treatments multiple times but received no actual mental health help; only supported meal times on occasion and physical monitoring. I was at a physical and mental low and would have happily died if given the chance. 

Being with CAMHS instilled food rules in me that I didnt have before, made me feel embarrassed to even exist, and was constantly reminded by my team that I was a failure for not meeting their expectations. they truly convinced me that I was a lost cause and that I would meet my end this way; and part of me wanted to prove them right to make them feel bad.

After my 18th birthday I met with the adult ed team briefly, but found this was equally as unhelpful and was finally able to opt out of any treatment. part of me did it because  I wanted to be able to deteriorate in peace, but also because it wasnt doing any good to begin with either.

These clinicians view every anorexia case as something that can be treated with the same, tired and rigid plan they've been using for god knows how long-despite how grossly unique every single persons eating disorder is. it didnt matter what I said to them, they were unwilling to try to help me in the ways I thought might actually be useful.

Now that ive been doing this solo, im finally getting better. I dont feel scrutinised or pressured to meet some quota, I dont feel humiliated at having someone I hardly know judge my character based on the number on the scale, and I dont feel the need to sneak around and lie anymore to avoid being tossed inpatient. If im struggling I can now just reach out and talk without worrying if this will end in a trip to the psychiatrist ward, and im allowed to have bad days because ive learned to give myself grace.

CAMHS was the worst thing for my eating disorder and im so glad they're out of my life.