"Trauma"

I witnessed my mother being raped and with high levels of violence.  When I was aged 10, my mother passed away. My father, who was an alcoholic, and he abandoned me for nearly two years, and on my return he had a new family.  I found this difficult to accept.

Around this time I also witnessed a family member death by suicide.  Within the same year my friend was murdered. I did not receive any guidance,  I was always told to just get on with it. In high school I was made fun of and teased for what I now know was being dyslexic.  Around the age 14  I was raped,  and then beaten up. I reported this to the police and I was not listened to. Around the age of 18 I met my first boyfriend,  who physically abused me. The matter went to court, Around the age of 21 I met my 2nd boyfriend who was also abusive (mentally) i stayed this relationship for 8 years.

For a very long time I believed I was not good enough,  and I believed I be better off not being here no more. I went to a number of counselling sessions but I would always feel  stuck within life. In January of this year I  became very lucky to get a psychologist (Stuart) who really helped me see things differently.  He challenged me and dissected  each part of my past and helped me though the dark parts of my life. I also had to put in the hard work, by challenging myself and the way I thought about myself and life. I blamed myself for everything I went through. I look at life differently now, and I am no longer afraid to face my  fears.