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Helped to forgive myself and ask for support

Posted By Penelope26

"Helped to forgive myself and ask for support"

About: Parent Support Link

(as the patient),

I was feeling fed up after over 20 years in abusive relationship, being adult child of alcoholic, alcoholic in recovery and mother to child with chronic illness. It was bit too much for me at this point. I was lost and I was blaming myself.

I believed I deserved whatever has happened to me. And I was sick and tired of it. It was Jonnie who approached me. I would have never asked for help - I didn't believe I deserved it. I look back now (after about a year) and I can't believe the changes.

Jonnie never told me that I've done or I was doing something wrong. He was helping me to look at the situation from different perspective. He was helping me to get to know myself, to understand myself and to forgive myself. Jonnie helped me tidy up the mess in my head. He lets me discover myself, and learn on my mistakes.

My mistakes are not a disaster any more- they are lessons I can learn from. I am allowed to make mistakes - it's a human thing. But it took me quite a while to understand that. There was no judgment, no shame - just pure empathy and understanding. I really appreciate and I will be always grateful that he approached me.

As I've mentioned already - I would have never asked for help. And I would still live in the dark, sad world of mine. The one I've created myself because no one ever showed me how I can change it and that I can change it. Not everything was my fault, I didn't deserved what happened to me, but now I can look at it differently, from the distance and take it as a lesson.

Thank you for the opportunity. For the chance. For helping me to understand myself. That had a massive impact on how I can support my daughter. I can be with her and for her whenever she needs that.

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Responses

Response from Rhona Hawkins, Service Manager, Parent Support Link, Inclusion 3 hours ago
Rhona Hawkins
Service Manager, Parent Support Link,
Inclusion

Submitted on 01/07/2025 at 10:03
Published on Care Opinion at 10:03

Thank you so much for sharing your story so openly and honestly. Your journey is incredibly powerful and moving. It’s clear that you’ve been through so much, navigating the weight of an abusive relationship, the complexities of addiction (both personal and familial), and the deep challenges of caring for someone with a chronic illness. It’s completely understandable that you felt overwhelmed and lost under all of that.

What stands out so beautifully is the transformation you’ve experienced. The fact that Jonnie met you with empathy, patience, and a non-judgmental presence seems to have made all the difference. It’s so valuable to have someone who helps you see things from a new perspective, especially when you’ve spent years believing you didn’t deserve help or kindness. The shift from self-blame to self-understanding is profound.

You’ve touched on something really important: that mistakes are not disasters, they are simply part of being human, and they are opportunities to learn and grow. That’s such a freeing mindset, and I admire the work you’ve done to reach that point. It’s a huge step to move from surviving to living with purpose, and from carrying shame to carrying compassion, for yourself and for others.

The impact this has had not just on you, but on your ability to support your loved one, is deeply meaningful. You’re breaking generational cycles, and that’s incredibly powerful. You’re showing her what it looks like to face hard things, to heal, and to show up with love and resilience.

Thank you again for trusting us with your story. Your courage, growth, and honesty will undoubtedly inspire others who might still be in the place where you once were. You deserve every bit of light and peace you’ve found.

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