"Overall I felt looked after"

I had attended the antenatal clinic for my 12 week dating scan which revealed a silent miscarriage. It was heartbreaking I had no indication of anything being wrong and was still having pregnancy sickness even though the baby had stopped growing two weeks before. Me and my husband were told quickly but kindly.

I wish the screen hadn’t been turned on until the baby was confirmed okay. I can’t get the image out of my head. We were then taken around to lots of different places. Within an hour we were asked how we wanted to manage the miscarriage, which is quick - I think we would have preferred to have had the option to go home and process what had happened before being asked how to remove the pregnancy, but I appreciate it may have had to be quick. We were also placed in a quiet room within an hour of finding out about the miscarriage which had a remembrance tree in it. It was too soon to deal with or acknowledge any of that so we asked to be moved to a different room and the staff were accommodating, but again it would have been nice to have been asked. It did take a long time that day. We went in at 12 and didn’t leave until 6. We hadn’t eaten as we had assumed we would get lunch after a successful scan, we were constantly waiting to be seen by different people so it wasn’t clear if we could go and get some lunch.

I took the tablets and came back into the hospital for medical management on the Saturday. The staff were lovely and attentive. Things didn’t go very smoothly as I had a haemorrhage and had to have a cervical examination and then be placed on IV fluids and blood clotting meds, so had to stay overnight. But the doctors and all staff were helpful and my husband was allowed to stay with me the whole time. Much of what I went through was really horrible but not because of the staff or treatment - my only complaint during the process was that a lot of people would look at my vagina or lift up my pads without asking to see how much I had been bleeding. I would have liked them to keep asking - I know it was probably the 100th time they had to do it but still. One of the nurses asked as we were getting ready to leave if we had any other kids at home which we don’t and I wish they hadn’t asked that although I know they were trying to be kind.

On discharge I was not given any information about recovery - how long physically it might take, what I can do or can’t do, what to expect/ what is normal or not normal. Only that I needed to take iron tablets. There was no information on the app about my discharge. My husband and I are dealing with the physical and mental aftermath, but in general the hospital were supportive. I’m glad I was there, rather than at home, and had the option to choose how to manage the miscarriage. The team were all very lovely despite the horrible circumstances. As horrible as it was the team did a good job and the hospital was quick, clean and aside from not enough information at discharge I felt well looked after.