"Overnight on maternity ward"

I would like to say I’m so disappointed in how I was treated overnight on the maternity ward after having my baby. 

I delivered my baby midday and went to the ward around 7pm. My husband could only stay until 9pm (which I understand is the rules) but I had a catheter in and still couldn’t weight bare due to epidural until 10:30pm so my husband asked if he could stay a little longer to help me with the baby (no harm in asking) to which we were completely scolded and told this isn’t England, everyone out at 9.

I felt so vulnerable as this was my first baby, I had no idea what I was doing, he wasn’t taking a bottle very well and I was now on my own to look after him. A midwife came around to take my blood pressure and I was completely sobbing and past myself as my husband just left. I was completely ignored, blood pressure taken and away, not even asked was I ok. 

At 10:30, they came back around, took out my catheter, changed the pads on the bed and stuck a pad between my legs (I had 2 2nd degree tears and an episiotomy and was fearful of how many stitches I had) they never told me I could get up, never offered me to change into pants, just left me there without a word.

I myself tried to get up around 11pm to see to my baby and blood was running down my legs, my pants and pads were in my suitcase which I couldn’t access easily (I had my husband organise everything for the baby before he left but stupidly forgot about my own needs) 

I rang the buzzer to ask a different midwife to help me around 12/1am, I told them I needed help to put on pants and a pad, they very cheekily commented on me having nothing on, told me I couldn't be lying there with nothing on, asked me where my pants were and what time my catheter came out?  I explained 10:30pm but I didn’t know I was able to get up after having the epidural and I was also scared to move too much or bend to get my suitcase after having so many stitches. They just tutted at me. I kept apologising and I was nervous to move and thanking them for helping in the hopes they’d be a bit nicer! 

Eventually I got myself sorted and then I was struggling to feed my son, he wouldn’t take any more than 5ml. The first midwife came around again and took him off me to feed, I was grateful because he needed to feed and they managed to get some mucus up but I did feel disheartened/like a failure because I couldn’t do it myself and no one would help or show me what to do. 

Needless to say, it was a long long night. I felt like the night staff could not be bothered. I felt they wanted the easiest shift possible and I felt ignored in my vulnerability. 

I have had the most incredible pregnancy, every single appointment and every midwife I ever met was exceptional and I was so worried about having to stay in hospital with my newborn but hoped maybe I would be supported and helped, this unfortunately was not my experience.

I will just end by saying, when the shift ended and the day time staff came on, they were lovely. Especially one midwife, they were super busy but took time to check my stitches and answer any questions and get my meds sorted to get me home asap.

Thank you so much.