"Mixed treatment from midwives"

After experiencing incredible care in the maternity triage, antenatal ward and delivery ward, a special mention to the 2 staff members who helped me and my partner stay so calm after a big rush on delivering my baby whose heart rate was falling. And for their amazing help afterwards! Their kindness, patience and understanding will not be forgotten. 

Sadly our stay took a more challenging turn in ward 68 in regards to advice given by a midwife on duty. The student midwife helped me to hand express breast milk which was going well and my partner and I felt supported and listened to. She worked patiently and I felt no ease or pressure and my baby was beginning to improve his latching. 

The doctor came round to do the usual new born checks and had some concern over the fact my son was yet to pee. This is when our experience took a turn. The midwife who should have demonstrated patience and helpful advice was harsh in her delivery of advice over breastfeeding and made me feel ashamed of how little I could hand express and painfully and humiliatingly hand expressed me like a cow, huffing her way through the process to try and provide some colostrum for my son. She did make this experience feel calm and safe and in all honesty the environment she created I think played a factor in how I was coping with breastfeeding. As the day progressed, my son still had not peed. It was simply suggested by the paediatrician that we could give my baby a small amount of formula to get things going with urine and make sure his fluids were up. The midwife looked disgusted by this suggestion and basically spoke for us and said no. 

Eventually my son did pee and we were looking forward to going home. But no, this midwife then decided the urine was too concentrated and I wasn’t “providing” enough for my son via breast milk despite hand expressing several times successfully throughout the day. Rather than offer food suggestions she put me in a state of shame and upset and could see through visible tears how uncomfortable I was with staying at the ward. It’s not a relaxing place for skin to skin, for hand expressing, for all the things required for breast feeding and we felt forced and shamed in to a situation because I wasn’t good enough. 

To cut this very long story short. We were sent home after the incredibly understanding midwife team for the evening came on. One midwife treated me with kindness and understanding and patience. She sat with my partner and I and gave us many options for feeding and put my shame and guilt at ease, salvaging our overall experience. 

Thank you for giving me a space to have my voice heard.