"A lack of empathy"

I attended ward 5 Woodend hospital for my Pre-assessment for a knee replacement. I had gone privately to see the consultant because of the NHS waiting time but as I require an ICU after the operation due to my heart condition, with none in the private hospitals, I was placed back on the NHS waiting list.

In the ward I was met by a lovely member of staff in the reception area who checked me in.

After a short wait, a nurse took me to check my vitals, weight, height and did MRSA swabs. I asked about the swabs as thought they'd be done nearer the time of admission .I felt totally ignored and insignificant. The nurse didn't really acknowledge me, no comments of what my vitals were ( normally I'd have been told what they were or at least that they're fine). Taking my weight and height, again no conversation or telling me what the readings were, my head was pushed downwards by the stick so I didn't feel it was an accurate measurement .The nurse's only comment was I wouldn't be proceeding as my BMI was too high!

I let it be known I wasn't happy so the nurse went to talk to a senior nurse.

I was then taken through to see the senior nurse, who hardly looked up. I noticed their seat was at a height where they were looking down on me. In an empathetic situation eye contact, I feel, is vital. The comment again was my BMI was too high and I'd need to lose weight. Not being told what my weight was and having to ask them 3 times if they had read my notes and could they confirm they knew what my disabilities were they mentioned Cardiomyopathy. I reminded them I actually have a dilated cardiomyopathy, spinal stenosis which causes cramps in my hamstrings at the slightest wrong movement, osteoarthritis in both knees, peripheral neuropathy and fibromyalgia .These all impact negatively on my mobility.

I told them I wish so much to be able to exercise as I used to. I swam 20 lengths every day after work, salsa twice a week, I keep to a very carefully chosen eating plan as my husband has cancer and we are very aware of what a healthy diet consists of. We have many dogs and even though I struggle I walk them every day but not at great speed. Having said all this the lack of empathy was evident from both nurses who didn't comment. I felt humiliated and having travelled a 59 mile round trip , having to organise my husband etc. I was exhausted.

The deciding factor for me was that the nurses didn't seem interested in anything I said, it was basically you're too fat for the operation. I got up without speaking, walked out in tears and sat in the carpark. I phoned the consultant and was told there had been no issues with my weight when I saw them but the NHS adhere to a different BMI level. Had I been pre-warned in the appointment letter what the expected maximum weight requirement was, I would have been checked over by my doctor beforehand and discussed a plan. I did not expect to be humiliated by 2 very unsympathetic staff who I found to be very lacking in interpersonal skills.

On reflection the least I would have expected of these nurses was a quick check by one when I walked out was to make sure I was alright and knowing the distance I had travelled was ok to make the journey home. My grateful thanks to the receptionist at the front entrance who took me aside and spoke to me.

I also, having spoken to a number of professionals, feel the BMI readings are a very controversial way of deciding factors. Every person is of a different stature, there are muscular people who are very fit but have high BMI readings and according to the NHS regulations wouldn't be considered for surgery solely on this. In the private sector they work to a BMI reading of 43 which is higher than the NHS. Obviously the anaesthetist would make the final decision.

It was a very bad experience and am not sure I wish to go through it again. My consultant has said they will rearrange the assessment but I've asked it be left for 3 months .