"Gambling Addiction Support"

You don't have a problem until you are made to see it. 

I have spent a huge portion of my adult life with the most hidden addiction, I gamble. I say hidden because unlike drugs or alcohol if you can keep things together there are no visible signs and I was very good at hiding it (even from myself). I managed to organise my life over many years to prioritise gambling but I couldn't really have told you why, my life fell to pieces recently when I was hit with the reality of what I was doing. I was faced with a circumstance where I had no choice but to admit to myself, my family and my wife what had been going on.

I reached out to the NHS stop gambling clinic and to be honest I was sceptical of the process that was about to happen (I was wrong to be). I was stunned by the speed of the service, they got back to me the next day and I had an appointment booked within the week to assess my issues. This assessment was absolutely key, in an hour Michelle helped me acknowledge that I had an issue and started to help me understand my own personal relationship with gambling and why I did it. 

I have read numerous other accounts of people with the same addiction as me but I couldn't relate to them or their stories and I knew my addiction didn't fit with the more normal forms of addiction. The initial sessions helped me work out that I gamble as a way to deal with stress and as a way to numb things when they get too much to manage. I can now see that this is a very vicious circle, as the problems I have got myself into gambling only add to this stress which in turn made me want to gamble more. I thought of having the betting slip in my wallet as a comfort blanket I could escape with. It didn't excite me to gamble but it made me comfortably numb.

I would never ever have been able to come to this realisation without the clinic and the help of the amazing staff. Michelle believed that I needed to address some traumatic issues which are linked to behaviour in childhood and as a young adult to cope with stress and the problems that come along in life. We started and are still doing EMDR therapy. This has been an absolute revelation to me. It is the most powerful thing I have ever done and again I would never have considered it without the help of the clinic. 

My journey has only just begun and I am nowhere near a place where I could say I am better, but I know I will get there. I honestly don't believe I would have been able to say that without reaching out to the clinic. 

If you read this and are on the fence about taking the brave step to ask for help then please do, you will receive kindness, care and understanding.