"Severe Period Pain = You're just too fat"

I was referred to gynaecology for severe painful periods after having a transvaginal scan to confirm there was nothing physically wrong that my gp could see. I waited 9 months, which I expected.

Upon getting to the building I was already extremely anxious and felt like crying in the waiting room due to stress from past experiences with doctors dismissing my pain for various reasons. My partner was there as an advocate and had to speak for me at times due to this.

Once getting into the room and answering some basic questions about my symptoms and why I was there, the doctor immediately went into speaking about my weight and how that was the cause. I had to inform them that despite my high bmi, I had lost 30lbs recently and a total of 50 lbs since my worst weight, but my symptoms had gotten worse as I’d lost weight and it was affecting both my and my partner's quality of life. They seemed completely shocked by this, which frustrated both my partner and I, completely ignoring that weight fluctuates with people a lot throughout life. I told them my periods had been this painful and growing worse since I was 11 years old, under 100 lbs.

I had to go through my list of symptoms I had brought and they tried to interrupt me and my partner multiple times to the point that I had to tell them I wasn’t done speaking. I forgot a symptom and had to add it later, literally telling them to write it down and they did not. It was completely missing from my summary letter, as were most of my symptoms, but boy did my weight get mentioned. Honestly insulting how they were so focused on that.

Then they informed us I needed to do the exact same scan I had just done 9 months ago because it didn’t count since it wasn’t in their building, only to get the letter for it and it’s in Grantham! How is that any different from getting it done in a different building before??

They didn’t seem to understand what either of us were saying most of the time, asking us to repeat our words and judging by the summary letter, still did not understand.

Then they tried to push hormones on me multiple times despite me saying I couldn’t go through that again, considering hormones were part of the cause for my horrible weight gain. But they kept claiming it was the only option and seemed to have zero interest trying to find the actual reason for this pain until I’d been on hormones. I asked them if I HAD to go on hormones to get to the pathway to be possibly diagnosed with endometriosis (something they didn’t seem to consider until my partner mentioned it, as recommended by two of my close friends) and they said yes before later telling me it was my right to say no to hormones despite them just before saying I had to if I wanted the help they were barely offering. I understand the NICE guidelines for endometriosis, but I had been on hormones before so I wouldn't have my periods, so I wouldn't be in pain like this all the time.

The only okay part was the examination, calm and nothing surprising happened.

I was in tears by the end as I felt I was being pushed to go back on hormones or I wouldn’t get help and I was especially angry when they mentioned more weight reduction as we were about to leave when I’d already told them I was continuously working on my weight. They even mentioned it in the summary letter, although I was being asked to do something I was already doing!

This entire appointment felt like a waste of time, I felt like a number on a scale and not a patient. All of it could have happened in a questionnaire 9 months beforehand and the scans could have been done before the appointment as to not waste more time and NHS time.

I have since cancelled any future appointments and will not return until my BMI is less likely to be so focused on. I have absolutely zero faith in returning to this department until I am stick thin.

Funnier thing is medication I was given by rheumatology has done more for me during my severe period pain than this entire experience.