"It really seemed that I was not allowed to have an opinion"

I had a baby in Ninewells labour ward last year. The experience was exceptionally poor. After a normal pregnancy the only word I can use is that I felt I was bullied into an induction by a consultant for going past 41 weeks. When I asked what the concern was, I was given some very vague statistics, instead of being given the actual risk I was told my risk of stillbirth doubled. I now know from an exceedingly small number to another still exceedingly small number but this was not explained, and is the problem with how information is given to women.

I felt like advocating for myself was met with hostility. My husband was also against an induction, knowing how strong the drugs are and how easily a cascade of intervention can be started. We both felt this was totally glossed over. In trying to ask the consultant for more exact information we were both told that none of this will matter when you have your baby in your arms. It was single-handedly so dismissive of our coming experience - the birth of our first baby. All of the risks of induction were omitted. I declined it several times, and then the consultant came back into the room having booked a date for induction!

The balloon dilator was extremely painful and caused me to go into urinary retention at home. I called for advice and the midwife involved in placing the catheter answered the phone so I hoped for some useful advice. Instead the first thing I was told was none of this is their fault.

Fast forward to being put on the syntocinon drip, which was horribly painful in my body that was clearly not ready to labour. 6 hours into that hell, the midwife advised that I should really save the gas and air for when I really need it...

I finally had my baby cut out of me and taken away because of complications that I believed the drip caused...

It really was a terrible experience. It has had an effect on my newborn and my initial bonding and breastfeeding, and as a family it’s difficult to put into words the impact that this has had on us all. I feel terrified to see any of those people again. And I feel awful about all the risk my baby was put through in what happened.

I did not see any compassion from the staff who treated me. It really seemed that I was not allowed to have an opinion, and certainly not one that was different from the doctor or midwife.