"Terrified to ever be admitted to hospital again"

It’s taken me a whole year to be able to write this, as I’m still struggling to comprehend what happened. I’ve been unwell with severe Eczema since I was a child and last year I fell unwell with what I thought was a stomach bug. As the days progressed it became worse until I could no longer walk or communicate properly. I was admitted to hospital for a duration of around 13-14 days and was admitted to 5c around day 3. Please bear with me, as the first few days are very blank and hard to remember. What I can remember is snippets of treatment I received at 5c and they are as follows. 

- Irritated staff members.

- Staff unable to recall last medication doses.

- Bed was not changed until I’d been there for around 3 days. 

- I'd drips left in my arms at one point for almost 5 hours (when I spoke up I was told to wait for the night shift nurses to change it.) My own blood was dripping back into the tube. 

- Harsh treatment when informing them I was struggling to move. I’d seized up during my feverish state, and had massive pain in my shoulders and upper arms. 

- Room not cleaned until I began to clean it myself, around day 8 of my stay. 

- Staff unable to verify my whereabouts, 1 in particular claimed I had not moved all day when I had been up, showered, cleaned my room and had headed out of the ward to the cafe downstairs for food. I had to ask them multiple times to verify with other staff members that I had moved.

- Berated after not eating hospital food that I was allergic to. I had a notice placed on my door stating I had allergies and was waiting for the dietician to attend me. To my recollection, the dietician never did see me and I was still given food I was allergic to. I did not eat it. 

- I am left not knowing a lot of the staff members' names as they did not introduce themselves, and some did not even wear a badge containing their names. 

- 2 different doctors, the first only seen me twice, and didn’t do much except offer painkillers. The second doctor, whose name I do have thanks to my discharge papers, made me feel intimidated and uncomfortable. They at one point sat in my room, and whilst trying to persuade me to have a TOE procedure told me I would be completely sedated. I asked to have this procedure a few times in my last week on 5c and then after I was discharged was called up to a different hospital for a check, who advised me it had been requested by my doctor who was seeking to have me go for the TOE procedure. 

- I was sent for an MRI scan due to the pain in my arms and shoulders. At the time I was wheeled in a chair as I had Janeway lesions on my feet. I was left over an hour sat in a chair with a high fever as my chair attendant had not come back for me. They said they could not locate anyone to take me back to my room. I was left to hobble alone, and berated by passing nurses for using the wrong lift before someone kindly used their badge and took me to the right ward. 

- I was not told about the button to call for help until I’d been there for 7days. The orderly seemed shocked that I knew nothing about the button. 

There were a few night time staff members who were lovely and so caring, and I cannot fault the Opat team in the weeks after my discharge. I went to them for daily doses of antibiotics until my blood finally cleared with one telling me that it was a close call, one more day and I might not have been here.

I’m struggling mentally with this, as memories seem to keep coming back. I have large gaps of time where I don’t know what happened. I requested my medical records from my GP, but it has barely any notes from my time at 5c.

While I am grateful to have made it, I cannot stress enough how poor the treatment was on this ward. It was so bad I’m terrified to ever be admitted to hospital again because I’m scared I may actually pass away next time. Bedside manner, speech, medical cleanliness, attitude and negligence when it comes to medication are all vital matters that need to be taken care of on ward 5c. I hope no one else has an experience like mine, and I’m writing this in the hopes that something will be done about the care on this ward towards its patients.