"Birth trauma and mental health"

I have dipped in and out of MH services for just over 20yrs. I have a long history of depression and anxiety, I was referred to the perinatal team when I first fell pregnant, and then again shortly after my baby was born.

We had a very traumatic birth, my contractions were killing my baby and he wasn't going to survive. I was alone, and rushed into surgery. My baby was delivered with forceps as he was too low for a c-section, mid afternoon.

I couldn't latch my baby and I didn't get any help trying to. I thought the postnatal ward was awful, a disastrous place. He was taken from me in the early hours of the morning and taken to NICU. He spent 5 days there. Such a difficult start led to intense depression and I couldn't cope. I desperately wanted someone to take him away. 

My HV, Penny, did as much as she could to support us when we came home. I was referred to the perinatal team, it was slow at first but as soon as I did come under their care, I was supported. The nursery nurse worked on helping me bond with my baby, who I'd previously resented. My care coordinator met me regularly, I could call the main number whenever I needed help, and I began EMDR following a diagnosis of PTSD. 

The EMDR helped immensely. I am no longer suffering PTSD. I have a bond with my baby. I learned so much about myself and understood where my difficulties came from as a new parent. I've found compassion and confidence in myself I didn't have before. I have new friends, new connections, and a generally more balanced life. The work the perinatal team do can't be underestimated, I haven't felt this mentally well for a long time. I am almost ready to be discharged.