"I'd strongly encourage care staff to be kind and professional"

I’ve been a blood donor since i was old enough to donate. Recently i had a session booked and i attended on time.  I am a frequent donor but this visit was in a location I’ve never been to.  To give context to the situation I am a first time mummy to 10 month old twins with a partner who works in Europe.  Today was my first donation since the girls were born.

I received a text in February and knew that i was far enough post partum to be allowed to donate so booked my session.  On the day via text a reminder was sent.  I attended the venue with my babies, and as it was not clear where exactly to go (bear in mind i'd never donated at this venue) i walked in the direction of staff and kindly asked for directions.

My negative experience started here.  I could see immediately the staff member's face harden and they seemed very displeased and in a very stern sharp tone said something to me but as they were with a donor and surrounded by staff and members of the public in an echoey hall i couldn't hear them. I stepped closer with the pram and this staff member stopped what they were doing and were clearly annoyed and barked at me that I couldn't donate if I have children.  This was as they made her way to me clearly displeased i had interrupted them.  I didn't know what to say, so i said sorry and they asked in a moderately aggressive sharp tone if I was there to donate.

I got no hello, how are you?, can i help you? is there anyone else with you today?, no can you come out here a moment?, nothing. This was  In front of a large hall of staff and donors some of whom were now an onlooking audience to my scolding.  This staff member did not introduce themself or ask me my name, instead  when i responded yes that i was there to donate, they repeated that I can't donate with children.  At this point i said oh gosh, i was now panicked that i was there, children in tow and had clearly made a mistake as i didn’t know this.  I asked if they would mind explaining to me why, as i didn't know this.  This staff member, then clearly annoyed, gestured their hand towards my babies and in a tone as if to say, are you stupid, said that because if I was to take unwell there would be no one there to look after the children! Again in a sharp displeased tone.  

At this point another staff member approached, i looked around and could see people were looking at me, i could feel myself start to panic, embarrassment, disappointment and started to fight back tears.  I was aware i was out in the open and started to move back out the door for privacy before this staff member began to speak to me, i told them i understand but that it was so rude the way i was just barked at that i understand what they meant but i didn't know.  This staff member asked me what age my babies were, and proceeded to tell me they needed to be over 6 months before i could donate. I replied and said they are 10 months but it doesn't matter as you wont let me donate anyway, which they confirmed.

I then came back to the matter at hand by saying no one made me aware, i didn't know, to which they replied that it is actually on their website.  At that point i had to just leave i could feel my eyes filling, i left with my babies went outside and unfortunately in the car park suffered a panic attack and had to phone my mother to get talked down and help me get myself calm before i got into the jeep to navigate traffic.

I want to make a few points to improve service rather than be a complainer.

I walk from my house to my gp and home again after every postpartum appointment, some of which have required blood sampling, and no one has ever treated me the way in which i was today.  I take my babies to the dentist, the physio, the nurse practitioner, the gp, the health visitor and whole manner of other appointments where I have had minor procedures done.  Granted, blood donation my be different and i totally respect this is the rules for NIBTS, but i could have been forgiven for making this error on this occasion as opposed to being made to feel totally embarrassed and stupid by staff who displayed no kindness, professionalism or understanding.

Furthermore, I class myself as relatively mentally resilient, but with that said the darkest days I’ve felt in life have been in the last 18 months through pregnancy and navigating motherhood to twins, i continue to have challenging days and sadly this encounter broke me.  I was trying to do a good thing.  As someone who narrowly missed needing transfusion following extensive bleeding during an emergency c section I’ve always been proud to donate and was looking forward to giving back,  i always felt not just physically well in the days after but always enjoyed the mental benefits of doing a good think and making the time, and constantly preach 1 giving 3 living. 

All i ask is that firstly it’s something that is better documented or that the information is shared better on the booking system.  

Secondly i’d strongly encourage supposed care staff to be kind, to be professional, to be understanding, to be confidential, to help problem solve and to be mindful of how their poor conduct might affect someone leaving their clinics clearly tearful & panicked in the care of babies.