"The place I feel least safe in the world"

I was admitted and readmitted to RAH in the course of two weeks due to issues with my speech and ongoing UTI symptoms. I feel I was gaslit from the moment I got to MAU. I understand they are overwhelmed but the amount of conflicting information regarding my care was obscene. It seemed to me as though the Autism and Mental Health cards were quickly pulled out of the bag to avoid looking at the root cause of the issue.

I have a community CPN and mental health team and returned from a CT brain to be met by the mental health team to assess me. I knew who they were and immediately found this hilarious. My Autism was also used as a potential cause - I'm in my 30s and have never presented with these issues relating to my autism. I was given multiple false promises, I was told I was being kept in as I needed to see ENT, dieticians etc, none of which materialised.

My discharge was authorised by a consultant who never even met or assessed me, based on inaccurate information. They went to great lengths to get IV access for a line that was never used, I was told by a nurse when I asked for my IV Cyclizine that MAU no longer use it, which I know is untrue. My diazepam was withheld for nearly 24h until an ANP took a look at my notes and determined within minutes it was incorrect and amended it.

I was given IM Cyclizine and asked for a yoghurt to try. I was subsequently sick over myself and continued to be sick, this was witnessed by members of staff. I didn't eat prior to this or after this, however when my Dad phoned to query my discharge he was told I was able to eat without being sick, which is completely untrue. My carer also flagged this to the Dr I seen as she was present. I hadn't eaten and wasn't drinking and my blood pressure had been sitting low and she said I wasn't presenting as I usually do.

I feel safer at home than I do in a hospital, I am worn down by what I feel is the constant labelling, gaslighting and lack of interest in treating patients appropriately. I would like to say I'm surprised by my treatment, but I never expect good care when I go to the RAH and constantly battle with my primary care team not to send me there. I feel like patients are not treated like patients anymore, they are just numbers in a revolving door with staff constantly battling the bed managers and people being neglected as a result.

I don't wish to speak ill of the staff in MAU, as she majority are trying their best in what is a dire situation and it would be wrong to say they are all poor when many of them have been fantastic with me, however it can't be said for all of them. The medics are clearly overworked and don't have adequate time to deal with patients properly, especially more complex cases like mine which results in yo-yo admissions and extra resources at a cost to them, myself and the NHS.

I have never seen the same Dr twice during my admission and had to relay my case each time I seen a new Dr and then put up with constant shifts in my care plan. It's a terrifying time to be chronically unwell I live in constant fear of needing to be hospitalised as it's somewhere you are supposed to feel safe but instead it's a major factor of my PTSD and the place I feel least safe in the world.