"My wife's experience"

This was probably the most traumatic experience of both my wife (and would you believe myself) have ever endured, although something similar was experienced in the same A&E dept at R Oldham two years ago.

Firstly on admittance straight into a side front entrance onto a trolley/hospital bed – and then queuing in a corridor.

One of the nurses then wished to mobilise her, so they suggested she go to the toilet and I asked how far away this was as she had no strength and lack of food in her. The nurse said it was just around the corner. It was a little further than expected and I took her into the toilet for a wee and to deal with her stoma. As I moved the bowl away from the toilet she slumped in the seat and fell sideways and screamed as she may or may not have hit her head on the wall – I immediately shouted for help.

After a while she was eventually seen by the doctors but what unfolded was dreadful – I had to hold my wife down 6 times in total with her screaming – in order to attempt a blood test and to do a canula. This was trauma beyond belief to have to do that to my wife, well it was 4 days before I inwardly stopped shaking and as to my wife's trauma well what can one say. In the event the canula only worked at 50%.

My wife was then transferred to the acute medical ward. During this time obs were required but she had no understanding as to what was happening in regards to a blood pressure check, she continually moved her arms and this only tightened the band which made things even worse.

And as for blood tests, they were unable to do these for obvious reasons and also because I think they were inexperienced nurses and doctors who most likely would have never had any dementia training of any note. During this time I was allowed to be with my wife a lot and there was no issue re visiting hours.

These obs continued for a couple of days with no success until a meeting with the consultant a few days later when we discussed this situation and we both agreed that these were fruitless given her dementia and late stage of it – so no obs were agreed. A dolls form was undertaken and agreed. My wife then spent a couple of days in this ward (this next bit some of it may not be exactly right in terms of the wards as I was under tremendous stress at this time) until she was transferred to an adult female ward whilst I was not there and had to find her in the hospital, and on that night I went home at about 8.30 pm with her in the acute medical ward and then and came back at 10.30 pm to find her not there but eventually found her in the above adult female ward (f7 or p7 I think).

I was about to walk in but was stopped by a nurse who said I could not come in as this was not allowed. Given what happened two years prior I said to them there is a dementia policy in place at this hospital and that I was going to my wife's bedside and whether they wanted to call the security or manager was up to them. I told them I was not interested in other women just my wife and so kept my head down as I found my wife and just sat by her bedside. I had visions of being frogmarched off the premises by security guards, however to my relief a manager came down and spoke to me in a room, he was exceptionally understanding and I showed him the policy of the hospital on dementia as I found it on the web. He fully understood and said I could stay and that they would draw the curtains round the bed.

As I was now using the main entrance I noticed straightaway there was now no sign or cardboard cutout anywhere as regards a dementia visiting policy – so in essence how would people know there is one who are new visitors?

The stay in the adult female ward was shortlived as she was moved – this was the 3rd move for my wife already and I am sure you know getting used to one change in a dementia persons health is extremely disorientating, never mind 3 times in the space of a week. Here the mix inc general health patients mixed with those like my wife with dementia and many at last stages. 

I must point out some of the staff were excellent and did their best to help out - however the communication between consultants to the nightshift team had obviously not worked as I found out one day when I came back and when I arrived in the early hours, about 4.00 am, the patient opposite who said to me they had to deal with both my wife and the patient opposite screaming most of the night.

The patient told me they had tried to take obs off my wife despite the consultant's agreement with me not to do this – so either that agreed communication was not read or just dismissed or indeed was not communicated at all is the issue.

When they came around again to take obs later on I immediately told them. It was no wonder my wife was screaming. I must point out generally the staff did their best.