"My mother's care"

I have only just been able to write about this after 4 months grieving for my mother whom I wholeheartedly believe died at the hands of the care by the team on ward 8.

My mother was admitted with a kidney infection which was making her delirious and she was having issues swallowing anything as in her delirious state, she thought everything was poisoned.  I should state she was disabled and needing assistance with being fed.

Every time my father visited, there would be cold toast and tea on her tray. Nobody helped her eat or drink.  She didn’t have the strength in her wrists to pick up a cup, which all the nurses and HCAs should know as it was in her notes and said on her board that she needed assistance with food and drink.

My father went to the hospital every day to at least ensure she had one decent meal a day and fed her and helped her drink.

She was given IV antibiotics and the nurse would come with her medication in tablet form, despite me saying multiple times that she needed either injectable medication or liquid medication in a syringe into her mouth as she couldn’t swallow the tablet whole so she’d spit it out.  

Due to her issues with swallowing, we’d requested a puréed meal 7 times in 7 days and she never had one single puréed meal, but it transpired that this request never went to the kitchen catering assistant so the HCAs and nurses didn't pass the information on.

My mother had pads for bowel and bladder incontinence whilst in hospital and was routinely left to sit in her own urine and faeces if nobody was visiting her at the time.  

One of the nurses abruptly told me they didn’t have time to clean everyone as they’re too busy dealing with a ward of people and not having enough staff.  

Apparently, there should be at least 3 more staff on that ward and they were sorry but that was the state of the NHS.  

I said I understood it wasn’t their fault personally but what could I do to make sure my mother wasn’t left in her own mess, and they suggested family be at the hospital round the clock to help (despite visiting hours being 10-8?!) 

My brothers and I work full time and could only visit after work for an hour before visiting time was over and at weekends. My Dad visited daily but he’s in his 80s himself and didn’t have the strength to lift her and change her and clean her up, and when she’d made a mess and he went to a nurse to tell them they muttered for god’s sake, which really upset my Dad.  

Mum started to get better and the doctor said she could come home in the next few days but would need some physio after being in bed for so long.  She was due to be transferred to another ward for physio on the Wednesday, but she ended up dying on the Tuesday night.

We were in absolute shock.  She went from being able to go home to dying.

We were told she’d died in her sleep, but a member of the staff told me that she’d not been checked in between tea time and the following morning at 7am.  She could have been struggling and nobody would have known, as she was in a side room.

I believe my mother was left to die. We are broken as a family and will never know if she died slowly in pain uncared for or peacefully.