"Where was the care and compassion my dad deserved?"

My dad was brought into A&E after having a massive stroke. He had two operations within 24hrs, the first to remove the blood clot and the second to reduce the swelling in his brain. Both operations were thankfully successful.

After his operation he went to ITU. Seeing my dad hooked up to all these machines with wires coming all over him was pretty scary.

The care he received in ITU was outstanding and we cannot fault this. His allocated nurse was so caring and compassionate, not just to my dad but also to his family. The care was outstanding and we will never be able to thank her enough for this.

There was one consultant who only focussed on negatives. They would tell us that my dad would never walk, never talk, never be able to feed himself. We were aware and not naive of how serious the situation was and were clinging on to all the little positive things. They said these things whilst standing at my dad’s bedside which I feel is quite inappropriate and bad practice - it felt inappropriate and unprofessional. Yes, I understand my dad could not communicate at this time, but would still have been able to hear everything.

After about 5 nights he got moved to ward 203 - which is for the elderly.

The care received was shocking! After his first night, I complained to a doctor. After his first night, he seemed to be in the same position as when we left him the night before. I offered to help move him, but was told they would have to wait for a member of staff. We heard multiple times that they were short staffed which I think is actually really unprofessional. His hands were covered in dry blood, dried faeces on his toes, his sheet covered in blood because he had been pulling at his catheter and had also pulled out feeding tubes. I had to raise it when it was pulled out. He also wasn't washed that morning (clearly), though they claimed otherwise.

He needed to be suctioned due to secretions on his chest and needed chest physio done on him but again we were told that they were short staffed - but staff often did not look busy and were chatting about things that were not work-related. It felt like it was too much to ask to help my dad with his simple basic care needs. Privacy and confidentiality was also breached one evening as they had left the handover sheet for the ward in plain sight.

Staff also had to be told that he could not lie on his left side due to having no bone flap on that side of his head, but he was witnessed to be lying on that side. His dignity was compromised due to being exposed when being taken to x-ray. His buzzer was left on the side affected by the stroke. He could not move that side at all, so I don’t know how he was supposed to be able to use this to alert staff if he wanted help.

He then tested positive for covid and got moved into a side room away from everyone. I think he was often forgotten after this. I feel we had to keep asking for things to get done.

He died 2 weeks after getting admitted.

On the day he died the doctor rang his wife stating he had taken unwell and they were doing blood tests. Then 20 mins later they rang back to say he was coming to the end of his life. His wife and my sister got to the hospital within 20 minutes of receiving the phone call. No one greeted them when they arrived even though the staff knew how serious the situation was. I think this is shocking!

Once they had walked onto the ward and looked through his bedroom window, they were the ones who found my dad passed away in the bed. The staff did not know until family alerted them. They thought it was justifiable to say to the family members that they had just seen him 5 minutes before. This was 1 not acceptable and 2 not comforting for the family. When his wife went out into the corridor she was screaming for help, to be ignored by the nursing staff. Nobody seemed to care or be in a rush to see what had happened. When a nurse did eventually attend the room they just said “oh”. When the emergency alarm went off you certainly wouldn’t have thought there was an emergency as there was no urgency from the staff.

It has been very hard to deal with his death because of the way he went and the way that his family members had to find him.

The AMP on that ward was amazing. Very approachable and was very honest with us. Their bedside manner was nice, very caring and nothing seemed to be a bother. Would come and talk to the family and answer any questions we had.

We were told after my dad had passed away, that no one would have been sitting with him anyway. How is this acceptable to say to anyone?

Where was the care and compassion my dad deserved? He certainly had a very undignified death. He must of been so scared.

I feel that the training for end-of-life care could be better, I would hate for anyone to experience what we have as a family.

We also had a delay registering the death because it took three days for them to sign the medical certificate to certify his death. I was told the person responsible was too busy. This was not good enough and delayed the funeral.

I certainly hope that I or any of my family members never have to be admitted, as I feel we would all refuse any treatment or care from this hospital in the future.