"Adult autism with no help coming"

Disclosed to nurse at GP that I’ve been feeling suicidal. Everybody in the practice ran into the room to yell at me. Went mute and got taken to hospital. Was refused access to a toilet and wet myself. Was forcibly injected with an unidentified substance and chucked out miles away from home.

Got passed into the care of crisis team. Told them I am struggling with executive dysfunction and organising, got given a form which I lost.

Social care said I needed four hours a week of support, said a funded PA would visit, PA never came, three weeks later Social care came over and said they weren’t providing a PA or funding and I should put an advert in the shop for a random stranger, but I shouldn’t spend any PIP on it until I have an actual diagnosis.

Framework called crisis team to ask for a new form and an ETA on diagnosis, they’ve never heard of me, try NESS. Called NESS, they’ve never heard of me, no referral was ever made, try Framework. I wish I had never told anybody that I was struggling and had hung myself.

There is no help coming, just a patchwork of “independent” (privatised) agencies that shovel health and care service funding up the noses of their shareholders and executives whilst passing the buck to everybody else. Friend who got diagnosed said NESS only diagnose if they consider it to be likely to lead to you gaining employable skills (profitable to be exploited by corporations).

I am a useless eater, I hate my life, and I want to die.