"Beneath the Banner of Love lies Evil & Hatred "

I have always distrusted mental health services because of the damage they have done to my mother who suffers with Bipolar.

However, in a dark moment of my life, where all I wanted to do was vent to someone with no judgment nor hold my words against, I let my guard down and accept the ill-informed advice of my family and friend to seek out support.

A service which was meant to give me a safe environment to speak my mind, express how a feel and ultimately just vent, ended up being a place of pure torture.

Due to a "red-flag" expression being used when voicing my frustration during a dark moment of my life, the clinician was concnered for my wellbeing; we had discussed in the session and in a call after the session that there was no risk as it is not in my nature to carryout self-harm and that I am not a person of risk - it was a agreed that there would be no mention of this expression on my records, and will that agreement, I felt confident to proceed with further sessions.

However, months later, I was contact by some total stranger (who knows nothing about me or about what actually happened) threatened me by saying that they have to note the previously dismissed expression on my permanent record. Since then (for the past 5 months so far) I have been constantly dismissed by all NHS services around my complaint about a blatant lie being put on my permanent. No-one wants to listen to reason, admit that they are wrong or put in the effort to fix the mistake.

I am left to suffer with the mental distress of the bureaucratic red-tape trying to rectify this mistake and to rub salt in to the wound. the mind matters team say that they will not help me. That they will not admit fault and dismiss me by simply saying "it is their duty of care".

I am left feeling worthless. I am left feeling assaulted for having let my guard down. I am left with feeling that I can never trust the NHS nor seek out any medical support because of how badly I have been treated by these evil people.