"Community mental health support"

My story started with the community mental health team in May 2022 when my GP referred me to the service . I was matched with Debbie soon after. At first I was not very sure what to expect or if this would be right for me. I had gone so long without opening up about what I had been through and continue to go through to this day.

But all credit to Debbie in that she made me feel comfortable after the first few meetings with her to open up and seek help for my many issues . I felt like I was being listened to and that she truly cared and wanted to help me the best way that she could.

Along side Debbie's support those first few months I was also referred to Penumbra which was great to begin with as I really clicked with my support worker Joy because she had been through similar to myself. But unfortunately she changed job soon after and that support ended, so that was a big disappointment at the time.

That is when I was then paired with another support worker within the community mental health team called Arleen. The first month or so I wasn't to sure of if it was going to work with Arleen as it sometimes can take me a while to trust people. But all credit to Arleen she was patient with me and understanding when she could of just said that I wasn't willing to work with her. After about a month of meetings things started to get easier for me and I was able to trust her and that she really wanted to help me, which I really appreciated.

The weekly meetings for either a walk or café visit got easier and felt a bit more natural. Although I was still very anxious , that's more my own issue than anything to do with Arleen.  Both Debbie and Arleen helped me massively when it came to getting me through a court case about the abuse my mum and me suffered from my dad. That was a really tough few months with moving into a new house in an area I didn't know very well  to get used to as well. 

The beginning of 2022 Debbie was able to talk me into doing a ten week survive and thrive course covering lots of the issues I struggle with. This was a massive thing for me as it was the first time I was in a room with strangers like that since school.

The help and support from Debbie was the reason I said yes to do it. Although I came away from it beating myself up about not being able to feeling comfortable enough to talk or contribute at all in the whole ten weeks. That is again my issue and not the supports workers issue.

A couple of other opportunities have been offered to me that I've not felt confident enough to say yes to despite Debbie and Arleen's support and encouragement. I feel really bad about this and feel like I've let them both down . Something I'm still really struggling with to this day.

The support from Arleen has ended now which is another disappointment but I know that I received support for longer than I was first scheduled to.  Her support and kind words will be missed.

I've had a few times since receiving support that I've planned to take my own life and gone as far as writing a note to leave and going to do it. But I feel like if I did succumb to those dark thoughts I would of let down my mum mainly but also everyone that has been there for me the last few years.

My mental health has improved a little bit since I was first referred but I still have a long way to go to being in a stable place and to feel normal. I openly admit that I'm finding it really hard to get over what I've been through, more so than I thought when I was stuck in that previous situation.

In conclusion I'm super grateful for the support I received from Debbie and from Arleen. They have really helped to get me through the last couple of years and without their support and help I don't think I would still be alive today!.

They are both a major credit to the community mental health team and I can not thank them both enough.