"We felt as though someone was always there if needed"

I had a small bleed at almost 16 weeks pregnant and was sent to a&e for an anti d injection. I had no concerns with my pregnancy but after waiting in a&e for hours with no one knowing where I should be directed I became quite anxious. The gynae team came down and offered me a reassurance scan until I could have the injection.

Sadly immediately I knew from the silence and their faces, another Dr was called in- Jonny- to confirm the news our baby’s heart had stopped. From the moment he joined us in the room, he was so kind and compassionate, he spoke with us about the taboo of baby loss and his role he had to play within that and supporting women. We had time to process there with the options given and he offered to stay or give us space. I can’t thank him enough for the way he handled this situation for us.

We made the choice to start the process of medical delivery and he arranged for us to go to the bereavement suite where a midwife Hope, was waiting. She was so incredibly kind and patient, allowed space to cry, questions, no rush and fully included my husband. She answered all my questions, even when I wanted to know everything I might expect. I was given the information on what would happen next and who to call if something changed.

We were asked to go back in two days later for induction, our midwife Tilly welcomed us, she was so calm and confident, I had a million questions, there was no rush, and I felt that despite what we were going through, it would be okay. As delivery got closer it was shift change and she came to handover and I remember panicking asking how I would know when it was time- and she so kindly and reassuringly told me I would know and that stuck with me. 

Georgia took over and stayed until I delivered half an hour later as things had ramped up, again, the word calm can not be underestimated in this situation, both my husband I felt completely safe and cared for by Georgia, and she made a tragic situation for us, bearable and we were able to enjoy spending time with our baby. 

The after care by Georgia and Queen in the bereavement suite was so sensitive and kindly handled. We felt as though someone was always there if needed, but we also had our space. Our baby was gently handled and referred to by her name/gender. Each member of staff I spoke to let me tell my story, even though they would have already known, and each time I was able to it felt healing. At no point were we rushed, or left feeling like we were making a bad choice/ the wrong choice in terms of how we spent time with our baby.

This was the worst situation I could have imagined, and it’s so significant that I felt I needed to write a review on the care we received because it was outstanding. At no point was I even aware other babies/ women were on the ward which had been a real fear of mine. 

For most people bringing their healthy baby into the world is what they think about when they think about midwives and labour ward, but there is this whole other side that you don’t become aware of unless you need them, and I really hope the staff involved get to see this review as their compassion, knowledge and  sensitivity shows why they do what  they do, and we wanted to say thank you.