"Hadrian Unit Psychiatric Inpatient"

I was admitted to this unit due to relapsing bipolar depression which I had not been able to prevent with the medication I was on. There had been traumatic life events for me and I'd tried to deal with these on my own unsuccessfully. They were very sensitive and hard to speak about.

Going to the Hadrian Unit was the worst decision of my life. I got an initial care plan but it was full of errors about my medication. I was there a few weeks and nothing in the plan was upheld. I couldn't get named nurse time (too busy), the ward was chaotic. I didn't get a psychology assessment or even an assessment of my depression at the start or end. I tried to disclose issues but it was to a different person each time in ten minutes snatched here and there and then I found it had been noted all wrong.

I was only offered one type of medication and spoken too like I had learning disabilities or was a child when I declined and explained why. I am well educated but have a mental health problem, probably due to a combination of genes and bad life experience. I came for help and have been degraded.

I know other patients had the same, people were given unescorted leave as there were no staff and I saw things like people being admitted and discharged and readmitted again with ligatures round their necks and attempts at overdoses and cutting their wrists. Patients just wandered around aimlessly.

In my case my partner and family were not included. They repeatedly phoned to ask to come to ward rounds but were given the wrong information. None of the information about me, or even my mental health, was known or assessed. I received no assessment reports so am none the wiser as to medical or psychological opinion.

One of the ward managers and a psychologist was rude to my family. I was not told of discharge until the nth hour. I left with no home, no CPN, no community support - just feeling utterly hopeless and on top of that degraded. To Hadrian Unit: having a mental health issue is not catching; it also does not regress you to an infantile state; it doesn't make you weak; it certainly doesn't make you intellectually incapable; and also it is not ok to refuse to allow me to see any notes as I am 'mentally ill and not entitled'.

If this is how people who are meant to care behave then where is the hope that life will get better? I tried to help myself by taking all the courage I could muster to go in (and not kill myself) but the treatment was chaotic and dishonest.

I may have mental health difficulties - if you had experienced my upbringing and life experiences I defy you not to be scarred too - but at least I have empathy.