"This experience almost feels 50/50"

I was due to have a planned c-section due to my baby being breech. Having struggled with gestational diabetes it was decided that my baby would be delivered at 37+1 weeks. 

I arrived on the morning of my surgery, admitted into ward 38. During discussion with an anaesthetic doctor around the spinal and pain relief for the surgery we were interrupted to be told we were now first on the list and things were going to move along pretty quickly.I felt overwhelmed with the amount of information. 

On arrival to theatres I was made to feel comfortable and everyone explained the role they carried out. The staff ensured I was comfortable throughout the surgery and kept informed.

When I was taken back to ward 38 with my newborn baby the midwife was concerned by her breathing sounds. She promptly called the NICU team who acted very professionally and explained that they would take our baby to the nicu and support her with her breathing. My partner was able to go at this time however I was still bedbound with the spinal not having worn off. The midwife who took over my care was also so helpful. She assisted me with mobilising and getting changed and lots of advice on movement and the guidance on the after care of the catheter removal. She arranged a wheelchair to take me to the NICU and be with my baby. 

I returned to the ward later in the evening, struggling with pain and anxiety and generally upset about my baby who was having breathing difficulties. I also had not passed urine which the midwife had stressed the importance of. I informed the nurse/midwife who had come on duty for the night. She was not concerned. I was then having some discomfort as it was very late and I still hadn’t passed urine. My legs and feet began to swell quickly- I pressed my buzzer and asked if I was supposed to be like this. I was told to put on some TED stockings which I was then provided with. It was a very long and emotional night in the same bay as the rest of the women who had delivered babies via c-section that day. 

I spent the next 3 nights in the ward. I was in excruciating pain 24 hours later and had felt like I was causing a hassle to staff at night for asking for help with managing my symptoms. I spent the entire days and evening in the NICU trying to be closer to my baby. I would come back to the ward at bedtime and I didn’t feel that I was asking for too much when I eventually had to ask for pain relief or assistance.

I was told to remove the stockings because the swelling was worsening- no further advice on this was given however months after discharge I was informed that I should have been given and told to wear them to protect from blood clots for a number of weeks post surgery. I have been very anxious and concerned that this was never conveyed to me at any time.

I will add that this experience almost feels 50/50 here and there was some very kind and supportive staff that cared for me during my stay and I wish there were more like them. Sadly I also experienced a lack of empathy or compassion during the time I spend here.