"The best thing I ever did"

I can’t remember a time in my life when I haven’t been anxious or worried. My dad left when I was very young and because of that, I had to step up and help my mom with caring for my 2 older sisters - who are both disabled. I think a lot of my anxiety comes from worrying about my future and constant fear that something bad is going to happen. I have never had a clear picture of what I want for my future; career/relationship-wise; because I know I will eventually be my sisters’ main carer. The main trigger is that I am constantly terrified that something bad will happen to my mom and that she will die. Because I have never talked to anyone (friends, family, or professional) about this, it all started to build up and I was terrified to leave the house, I would cut myself off from my friends because I felt undeserving of their time and love. It got so bad that it started to impact my mental and physical health - I started to get suicidal thoughts and started to experience numbness in my face which I initially thought was the start of a stroke. After making an appointment with the doctors, they told me that it was actually how my stress was manifesting. During this appointment, I was told to refer myself to Walsall Talking Therapies.

After my initial assessment, I was given 7 sessions of Low-Intensity CBT/ Self-Help with Jorgen. At first, I was terrified to start these sessions as I was unsure what to expect as I had never done this type of thing before. However, in the first session, Jorgen explained what sort of things would happen in the sessions as well as answered any questions that I had, which put me at ease. I found these sessions really helpful. They helped to explain certain things that I was experiencing and that it was ok to feel a certain way. One thing that stuck with me from these sessions that Jorgen told me was that we shouldn’t feel guilty when we’re feeling depressed or feeling down and lacking motivation as it's your brain’s way of protecting you from stress, which means that it is out of your control. By the end of these sessions, it was decided that it was best for me to be referred to High-Intensity CBT for social anxiety.

I was again anxious to start these sessions as it would be with someone different and I struggle with change, however, I found these sessions with Tracy to be extremely helpful. These sessions were longer and we were able to have a more in-depth look into my issues. They helped me to identify that a lot of my worries were hypothetical which meant we were then able to look at ways to reduce the impact of these hypothetical worries. Throughout the sessions, Tracy shared a few coping strategies that have honestly made this experience 100% worth it, such as grounding exercises - which have become my go-to in times when I feel my anxiety building. The sessions also helped me to understand the importance of me-time. When I was asked to pick 10 fun activities to do during a week, I did feel silly at first, but by the end of the week, I found myself feeling happier than I had in a long time.

Overall, I couldn't be happier with my experience with Walsall Talking Therapies. I’m so proud of myself for taking the right step and seeking help, as I don't know where I would be if I didn't. I will forever be grateful to both Jorgen and Tracy. Thank you both for supporting me and for believing in me, you both made this experience worth it. I think knowing that the service is there even after being discharged gives me the confidence to try out all that I've been taught, but if I do stumble or am in crisis, I know that they are always there. I will always recommend the service to anyone I come across in need, as it was the best thing I ever did.