"This service is invaluable for neonatal parents"

My little girl was born unexpectedly at 34 weeks gestation and we received support from Maternity & Neonatal Psychological Interventions Service MNPIS while in the NICU and once we were home. 

For context: 

At my 30 week midwife appointment I was sent to the hospital to have a growth scan and blood pressure check as they were concerned that I was measuring small and that my blood pressure was high. At this scan we were told that I would need to be monitored to check the babies progress and to ensure that my placenta was continuing to work correctly.

I was started on blood pressure medication to try to lower it into a normal range. We met with a consultant and discussed that I would not be allowed to go full term, meaning I would have my baby around the 37 week gestation. For the next few weeks my blood pressure was monitored closely where my medication dose was upped every two/three days. My growth scans showed that my baby was healthy but small. 

At 33 weeks and 5 days I went for my checks and was kept in. My blood pressure had continued to rise and I was started on an additional medication. On the Sunday (34 weeks) I experienced an unbearable migraine and my blood pressure continued to rise despite the medication so was rushed for an emergency section.

My little girl was born in mid-December weighing only 3lbs 9oz. I only got to see her for a second before she was whisked away to the neonatal team and placed in an incubator. She required help to breathe and had to have a procedure to help strengthen her lungs. She required breathing and feeding tubes and well as monitors to check her heart rate. She received round the clock care. My little girl spent a total of 14 days in neonatal care before she was strong enough for us to take her home. 

While in the neonatal unit I was emotionally and physically drained. We wanted to spend as much time as possible with my little girl, where we would sit in the unit during the night and early hours of the morning.

At first we both tried to put a brave face on things, having family visit the NICU but after a few days I couldn’t cope emotionally. I obsessed over everything the doctors told us, taking notes and tracking everything to help give us a sense of control in a situation where we didn’t have any.

My husband and I found NICU a very emotional time as, while my little girl was in, we saw countless babies join her in her room and then be discharged. This was draining as we had no clue when our little girl would be strong enough to leave. I was sent home after 6 days in hospital where I had to leave her in the NICU, this was by far the worst day of my life. Watching other people happily leave hospital with their baby was so difficult knowing I was leaving empty handed unsure of when we would get to take our precise little girl home. 

MNPIS:

The day before I was discharged Emma (psychologist) came to see my husband and I at my little girl’s incubator in the NICU. On reflection this moment was a blessing as I was really struggling emotionally and feeling extremely overwhelmed. Emma spoke to us about the support she provides and asked if we wanted to come have a chat at some point. I had no idea how much I needed this and agreed thinking it would be a quick chat and then done.

We met Emma a few days later and discussed how we were feeling and coping in the NICU. I spoke with Emma about my birth experience and how sudden things had happened. We spoke about how my little girl was doing, the care she was receiving and how my husband and I were managing day to day.

This was the turning point for myself where I knew the best thing I could do was talk through my emotions and try to overcome the anxieties I was feeling, instead of putting a brave face on and powering on as if I was fine. 

Over the next 7 months, Emma and I met over video call to discuss how I was coping with having my little girl home, with her care and how I was managing the thoughts of my birth. The sessions were a great release of emotion where I could talk openly and honestly to Emma about how I was feeling. She gave me the reassurance that it is natural to feel these ways and we spoke through the coping mechanisms I used before and how to build on these now.

We identified triggering moments and discussed how I worked through them. Each time we met we had a reflection task which helped focus my mind and reassure myself that everything I was doing and feeling was natural. 

At our final meeting I could feel a shift in how I was feeling. I felt my old self again and confident in that while there will be days I feel emotional or overwhelmed, I can handle anything.

I can’t thank Emma enough for the work she did with myself and my husband. I honestly don’t think I would have reached out myself to ask for someone to talk to but Emma was there exactly when we needed her. Her calm nature and willingness to listen was comforting and helped me work through the anxieties and emotional load I was carrying.

I will be forever grateful for the opportunity to openly talk about my experience and know that I can reach out in the future.

This service is invaluable for neonatal parents, even if they don’t know it, as it allows you to take a step back and reflect on how you are actually feeling and talk through it.