"No place for sark on a children’s unit"

I would like to preface this by saying I feel empathy and understanding for how difficult it must be for nursing staff doing a tricky job of cannulating children and babies. I was in the unit for a short time and could see how challenging an environment it must be to operate in, never mind what is must feel like on a daily basis.

We unfortunately had a very poor experience with a particular nurse. I do not wish to comment publicly a specific name, but equally it is important that such issues are raised. If you wish further details privately I will share the name, as without this info it may make it difficult to follow up/reflect on.

I appreciate everyone copes with stress differently and this nurse's way seemed to be with sarcasm and latterly what felt like contempt. From the offset we were met with this type of communication from the nurse. One or two sarcastic comments with the intention of humour or wit, yes I understand and appreciate. However repeated comments like this throughout the time begin to make a person feel uncomfortable and like a problem. For example, from my basic knowledge I understand lack of hydration can make it difficult to locate veins. After a few attempts, I asked if I should feed my child and try again later, to which I was rudely told a feed isn’t going to make a magic vein appear. Other comments were also delivered in a sour manner.

Other comments were repeatedly made about eg how difficult a day it is, how they were mentally checked out, about other children screaming, and body language such as huffing and sighing. One might think they were making these comments as if to explain away/justify their poor behaviour. I expressed my sympathy while present, but there was a significant lack of professionalism to which I found concerning. It was very apparent to me they did not want to be there, and didn’t want us to be there either.

I don’t like to comment without suggesting some sort of solution or improvement but it is difficult in this situation what to suggest given it seems an interpersonal issue. The nurse practitioner who eventually cannulated my child seemed experienced, calm and knowledgaeble about the process. If this is known to be a challenging task for patient and nurse (as I believe my child was the only one of four that day successfully cannulated by the nurse) should this be under the remit of someone with more experience? Is there more training or shadowing that can be provided?

While I am not in the position to comment on the nurse's clinical skills, I believe there is an absolute need to improve the bedside manner to align with NHS values. A nicer conduct overall may in turn improve the success rate of these procedures as it would help the child relax I am sure.

A second point that I want to raise is that both this nurse and another nurse made this same comment while holding my child’s arms and legs. I understand some level of resistance is required to stop wriggling limbs getting in the way. However when they both held him at different times, they each made the comment of how forcefully they had to hold him to the point they themselves highlighted there were lasting finger marks on his arms and legs. They seemed surprised at the force they used, but with a lack of care for how my child might be experiencing this. Does this mean they were not aware or in control of the pressure they were applying? Why would that comment be made to a parent ? Is there a medical reason to highlight this? What’s the benefit? I am at a loss why this would be mentioned in an already stressful situation.

As human to human, taking my child out of the equation, I felt empathy towards how miserable this nurse seemed and wish them well. However, given that this is all about children receiving care from medical professionals, who are trusted to operate with compassion, patience and kindness, (regardless of their personal issues), I am extremely angry that this was not the case for us. The whole experience felt more about the nurse than it did about treating my child well while in their care. If this behaviour is the norm for this nurse, I can’t imagine what type of unpleasant environment this creates for colleagues and children staying in the unit. 

I firmly ask for improvements so that no other family or poorly child are to have a similar experience.