"More harmed than helped"

I have recurrent episodes of severe depression, and as I have found NHS mental health services unhelpful in the past, I was seeking support through the third sector. A counsellor there raised concerns about my deteriorating mood and suicidal thoughts with my GP, who referred me to the Mental Health Assessment Unit (MHAU) after a conversation with me.

I attended with my partner, who is a healthcare professional and was supporting me through this episode of depression, and also helps with communication difficulties that I have as a result of ASD.

Upon entering the waiting area, I could overhear staff discussing me behind a glass panel, questioning my expectations on what services can do and that it wasn't their problem. While waiting for me, my partner also overheard confidential information about another patient; including their name, diagnosis, and location. When called in for the assessment, I asked if my partner could join as I was anxious, and attempted to explain my communication difficulties, but I was interrupted and told no.

Despite first impressions, I tried to be open-minded in the assessment. However, one of the nurses repeatedly interrupted me and corrected me on irrelevant mistakes, e.g. when explaining why I was at the MHAU I  started saying that my counsellor had referred me to be cut off and corrected that it was actually my GP. Furthermore, although I had disclosed that I was planning to end my life, there were no follow-up questions asked to assess my current mental state or risk. Instead, when I expressed that I felt hopeless and was struggling with a lack of support for my ASD and mental health, the nurse again interrupted me, talking about input I had received several years prior. The focus seemed to be on my previous interactions with services, rather than the present crisis and what could be helpful. When I said that I was finding the interaction stressful, the nurse then asked why I had came, and that no one had forced me to be there.

Once my partner was allowed to join, he tried to express concern and was repeatedly talked over and argued with. At the end of the assessment, I was handed a leaflet about the NHS 24 Mental Health Service, and told they would send a Community Mental Health Team (CMHT) referral. We asked if the referral was routine or urgent, on account of the deterioration in my mood and the risk to myself, and was advised it was a routine appointment and that I would hear back in 6-8 weeks. When we expressed concern about having no input in the interim despite my suicidal intent, we were simply advised to call NHS 24 if there were concerns.

In general, the assessment felt more like an argument: instead of feeling respected and listened to, I felt as though my concerns went unacknowledged and my words were scrutinised and then disregarded. The discussion did not feel collaborative or person-centred in any way, as I was repeatedly interrupted when trying to express how I was feeling. While my GP had referred me as he was keen for me to have more support, there were no clear next steps.

I left the assessment feeling even more hopeless and suicidal. That was my last interaction with NHSGGC Mental Health Services, and I strongly feel that should my mental health deteriorate in future, I would be reluctant to seek support as it only seems to have caused me more harm.