"One of the best things I have ever done"

I was feeling really stressed out in work due to constant criticism from a colleague. This affected my confidence in my ability to do my job and led to not being able to sleep. I told some close friends that I wasn't coping very well but wasn't completely honest about how low I was feeling thinking I would be ok. I was embarrassed and kept telling myself to pull myself together but I couldn't. Then I got COVID and was physically and mentally exhausted. I went back to work and just couldn't cope, thinking that everyone thought I was useless at my job and everyone agreed with my colleague. I couldn't concentrate and was so paranoid that I had done something wrong that I kept checking and rechecking my work. I had to go off work again because I couldn't sleep and I couldn't stop crying, I felt I was falling apart and would never be ok again. I was ready for resigning from the job that I love.

I spoke to my GP who referred me to Steps to Wellness, By this time I couldn't see the point in anything in my life any more and I felt so useless. The only thing that was keeping me going was my lovely family and grandchildren, I couldn't leave them. I knew I had to do something to try and get well mentally. I was very skeptical about the course as it was on Microsoft Teams and I was frightened but decided I had to give it a go.

From the first session I felt at ease and listening to others sharing their experiences and feelings made me realise I wasn't on my own, I could relate to what others in the group were saying and how they felt. When the course started I felt barely able to leave the house and had lost all interest in things I would have enjoyed. I started challenging myself to go out for a walk each day, even when it was raining and cold and I didn't want to go out but I did it and realised I felt better. I began to slowly feel more like the old me and felt able to get back to things I enjoyed.

Olivia and Alannah were very kind and patient during the sessions and checked in with us at each session to see how our week had been and provided advice when needed. They talked us through each session, giving information on coping techniques and ways to challenge negative thoughts. I really looked forward to each session and did everything that was suggested because I really wanted to get back to being me again. It was hard and emotional at times but I am so glad I stuck it out.

I have been able to talk to my manager in work and steps have been put in place to help resolve the issues. I won't be embarrassed to be more honest about my feelings to people I trust and I know not to let things build up again. Attending the Steps to Wellness course is one of the best things I have ever done for me and I would encourage anyone in a similar situation to try it.

The course was very relaxed, there was absolutely no judgement and it had helped me to challenge the thoughts I had about myself and what I thought others had about me. Now the course has finished I am feeling more confident about myself and the future. I have been given the tools to use to help me in the future and I will continue to use them.