"Mental health services"

I went to my GP numerous times about my deteriorating mental health over the last year, they had been the most supportive, providing me with different medications to try and help relieve my symptoms. 

I cannot thank my GP practice enough for fighting my corner. Without them I'm scared to think where I would be .Towards the end of last year my GP decided that medications were no longer the way to go and that I would need some input from the mental health teams. So they did a referral to the South Team, who rejected my referral due to lack of diagnosis and suggested the Renew Team would be more suited to my needs so they passed on my details.

The Renew team rejected my referral due to lack of diagnosis as that is not their job was what I was told. My GP re-referred me to the South team with more detail on my increasingly worsening mental health and again they rejected me due to not fitting their criteria. This then lead to me having a full on crisis because of lack of support, I was signed off work, given medication to reduce the symptoms and was expected to hear from the Crisis Team during the course of the day. Half past 4 in the afternoon and I still had no contact from the Crisis team so contacted my GP again who told me they would find out what was happening and call me back.

My GP phoned me back to tell me that -I didn't meet the criteria-although they fought hard for me to be seen by the psychiatric team, they told me I would be seen but not urgently. Throughout the weekend I was using medication as a means to cope but was still struggling massively so contacted my GP during the following weeks to tell them that I felt worse, I'd begun self harming and the suicidal thoughts had escalated to multiple times a day, my medication was increased and another Crisis team referral was made.

I was contacted by the Crisis team the following day and spoke to a member of staff who was attentive but couldn't emapthise with my lack of trust of the service. I saw a Nurse the following day who was my main point of contact who said to my face that I still didn't meet the criteria for the Crisis team but from everything I had gone through they felt I should be seen. From that point onwards I had input from the Crisis Team either by phone or face to face, I even emailed some of the things I didn't feel comfortable saying to their face and received a pretty generic reply saying thanks.

I feel deflated and like I was a burden to the resources that I so desperately needed in my time of crisis, everybody's crisis looks different, yes they helped me get through the self harm with good resources and for that I am truly grateful but I am hurt that for a team that should show compassion and support to people in their most vulnerable times I feel I have been let down time and time again. I appreciate how stretched the services are, I truly truly do but it shouldn't come at the cost that it has. It shouldn't come to having to self-harm and have plans for how you plan to commit suicide to get help. I know I am now getting help from the psychiatric team but I wish it didn't have to come to having to go through so many different people. I feel that had my initial referral been accepted and yes the wait time would have been long, I feel I probably wouldn't have had the breakdown I ended up having.