"Left feeling abandoned and unsupported"

After having my second baby I was told he had a tongue tie but the infant feeding team wouldn’t be able to see me for 5 days. I went home and struggled with breastfeeding, despite breastfeeding my first baby. I started getting pain in my breast and he started to become jaundiced. We spent the first fortnight going back and forth to hospital for blood tests to check his jaundice, it was incredibly stressful and I feel we had no support from the midwives.

I messaged my midwife for feeding advice and they advised to start expressing to take the strain off my sore side. I didn’t see a midwife at all after I gave birth, just two support workers who I found very unhelpful. The first told me I should be feeding my son far too much milk, they only realised when my husband re-did the maths and questioned it. The second said that’s because I'm not feeding him enough when his jaundice was worsening, which almost reduced me to tears.

I developed mastitis because he wasn’t latching effectively and eventually after 5 days he was seen and I was told he had a very significant tongue tie which was difficult to divide. Once that was sorted and I’d had the antibiotics I was hoping our breastfeeding journey would improve but I had then been discharged from the midwife and the health visitors were nowhere to be seen. I felt so let down.

He still wasn’t latching effectively and I was in pain every time he tried to feed so I started introducing formula as I was worried his jaundice would return. Now, a few months down the line, he is mostly formula fed and I feel really sad about it. I feel like if we had been seen sooner than 5 days I wouldn’t have got mastitis, his jaundice wouldn’t have been so prolonged and we would’ve had a better chance to breastfeed as I did with my daughter. 

When he was a few weeks old we were admitted to Polkerris unexpectedly for IV antibiotics. On admission we were seen by a registrar who I found incredibly rude, they talked about my son to another doctor with their back to me. They were pointing to his birthmarks and saying that’s normal, that’s normal, that one’s not normal, we’ll have to scan him. They then left the room without even explaining to me what they meant. I questioned it with several nurses who said there was nothing in my notes about it.

Then a few days later another doctor walked in and asked where’s this abnormal birthmark? The nurses on the ward were fantastic, but I found the medical staff terrible. I kept thinking why have you specialised in paediatrics when you have absolutely no empathy?

I feel there was absolutely no support from the midwives once we left the hospital. I feel so let down and frankly embarrassed at the poor care. Both in the community and from the doctors on Polkerris. I spoke to a few friends who had also recently had babies and they also said they also had very little support after. One friend told me it was due to low staffing, funding etc, but I don’t think that’s entirely true. There’s dozens of specialist midwives in the hospital, so there should be some money and time put into community.

What saddens me most is the story is identical with my first and I raised concerns then, yet 3 years down the line nothing has changed. It feels like when you’re pregnant you’re so closely monitored and so well cared for, and once the baby is here you’re on your own, which is when you need the help most.

I’m now struggling mentally and have only now really felt like I can talk about it all. I’ve not bonded with my son as I was expecting and I’m sure that’s because of all the stress we had in the first few weeks and because I haven’t been able to feed him as I’d wanted.

I feel that postnatal care in the community needs looking into, because it just doesn’t exist and women and their babies are being let down and left feeling abandoned and unsupported.